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Ugh, I'd been thinking about writing something recently but I didn't realize I'd gone so long without a new entry.

I'm back on the low-stakes grind. Couple weeks ago I nailed down an actual win-- just a $16.50 / 360-man for $1350, but still. A win on my own money under my own power is a good sign for my bankroll rebuilding. Unfortunately circumstances and obligations have kept me from grinding as much as I'd like. Had to roll out to weddings, to see family, long-lost friends, and the like.

I'm in Austin, and I spent my Sunday grinding with apestyles, who's a buddy of mine and much better at this thing than I am. I put in a long and draining (and ultimately frustrating-- a 7th, and 8th, and two 9ths) session-- still showed a small profit, so I can't complain too much, but I've got that insatiable itch of "If I just got a break here and there I'd have made ten times what I actually made" eating at me.

In other words, an extremely typical mental reaction from a guy who's been grinding long enough to know better.

I was happy for the session, though, because I'd started to doubt myself recently. Playing with someone good, talking over hands and situations constantly, addressing how we each think about the game and what we're doing right or wrong... it's both important to do to keep mentally sharp, as well as to confirm that I still know what I'm doing, that I can play this game.

I was trying to find a backer for a while, but my efforts have proven largely unsuccessful. I think I have enough of a roll to rebuild from, though, so I'm not too worried about it. It does mean I have to put in lots of grind time this month to get my roll back in shape.

FTOPS is starting soon, and I'm planning to sell pieces of that. I'll look at the schedule later today and start contacting people. I'm basically trying to get a 70/30 deal for a short series, which is great for backers, and for me, gives me a chance at a healthy chunk of change that I wouldn't have otherwise.

Gonna keep grinding this month. It used to be so easy when I was younger; now I have to make myself sit down and play in a way I didn't before. Oh, and I have to make myself not spend money. Personal fiscal responsibility is a pretty big part of bankroll management, after all.