Still trying to get more money online. Don't have much now, so I've stuck my toes in low stakes MTT SnGs to get warm until I do. I'm also trying to hold down variance; I need to make a steady climb until I finally push past that tipping point where I'm easily clearing expenses and can take a couple of risks to grow my bankroll.

One step at a time. I can get back to the top; it's just gonna take some real work. "Since I left, ain't too much changed."

Put in a brutal session at the Isle earlier this week. My play got sloppy and I also got in a $1400 pot with the best of it and lost.

I'm taking a break from the game to clear up some other things in my life that have been on my mind. I have to do this if I'm to be clear-headed and focused in my work. I'll be back.

Playing live again and starting from the ground up has forced me to reconsider the way I play fundamental poker. It's forced me to re-establish a basis for sound play, playing well, playing a winning style, before I get creative and start incorporating new moves.

I've met a cast of characters here, and they are by and large terrible at poker, or at least very exploitable. However, at these limits players play a number of different ways and make a wide range of mistakes, so I have to pay attention and know my opponents in order to best take advantage of them. I have to understand their basic tendencies, the flow of the game, and how they are playing in the moment.

And that is fundamental poker. All the metagame and the arsenal of moves I might need in a tougher game are unnecessary here. They would be counterproductive.

If I tried to jump back into those online games right now-- into higher games I was beating regularly before-- I would start trying to make those moves and take on tough challengers while my foundation was still shaky. It would be disastrous; I would not be playing winning poker. I need to be firm and secure in my fundamental play, and beat these games consistently and build a sound bankroll, before I start moving up again.

That's what moving up in the ranks one step at a time does for you. You have to develop the fundamentals necessary to beat those games consistently, or you definitely won't survive at the next level. If you try to jump ahead, you'll lose your ass. Simply put, there is no substitute for experience. (And as I'm finding, even the experienced have to give themselves a chance to shake off the rust after a long sabbatical.)

I want to move up, obviously, but I have to be sure I'm ready. My desire to move up is not always commensurate with my readiness to do so. "Hey, I beat that game, I wonder if I can beat the next one!" Again, I'm an impatient person by nature-- acutely aware that my time is fleeting-- so staying calm as the clock ticks away on my grind is difficult. I am easily frustrated by the lack of instantaneous mastery in my life. This is probably the toughest skill of all for me; to keep the discipline and patience to stay calm, not overreact to anything, to just let the river of life flow, letting everything come and go... and all the while, being patient and content, and doing my very best.