It's been a while since I wrote, but to be honest, there isn't a whole lot to talk about. I'm still grinding that heads-up; I played less last week than the one before, but a long session yesterday made up for it-- I got in around 3,000 hands, which is a huge number at heads up, especially for me, who doesn't exactly put in lots of hours.

Anyway, let me update you on a few things:

-I got a new desktop! For the first time since I started my poker career I have a real home setup. This has made it easier to put in longer sessions of more tables, among other things.

-In addition to this, I'm going to look into the possibility of recording a video or two. I'm not sure what their nature will be, exactly, if it will be instructional, or commentary, or my own sessions, or otherwise. But I'm gonna tinker around with it some and see what I come up with.

-I'm not going to travel anywhere else the rest of the year, but I may go to one of the big January tournaments (the PCA or the Aussie Millions). I'm trying to lead a balanced life here, the life I want to live, and there are just too many things about the tournament lifestyle that leave me dissatisfied. As if the long dry spells between cashes weren't enough, there's a lot of encouraged excess and spending. It's hard to make a living playing tournaments if you burn through your big scores when you do finally have them. It's hard to live out of hotels. It's hard to go that long without new people or a change of pace.

Last, I wanted to say I haven't been writing much not because I don't care, but because there isn't much to talk about. Since I'm not traveling the circuit, I don't have tournament stories or crazy hands to post. I could talk about life in Austin, I suppose, but there's not much poker content there. Anyway, I'm hoping these next couple of things I'll be working on should provide some interesting content, and in addition, I'll start looking for spots where I can analyze the game from a theoretical perspective, outline some ideas I have about it that I don't think people explore enough.

Played close to 7,000 hands at $1/$2 and made ~$5100. Ran about 18 PTBB/100. I have no idea if that's an indication of running really hot, or just the massive skill difference between me and my competition. (After all, this is a much smaller game than I'm accustomed to, and I'm pretty tight about my game selection.)

I did plug the stats into PokerEV and it turns out I actually ran badly in all-in situations, to the tune of $900 below expectation or so. Obviously this doesn't affect me in heads-up as much because I'm winning so many pots without showdown, but it was neat to see the graph and see a 5,000 hand breakeven stretch in "Sklansky Bucks" where I actually LOST $1500 at showdown, but still made $1500 overall.

So I feel really positive about these results. Gonna keep plugging away and move up after I've logged some more significant time. I have no real idea what expected volume or winrates are for HU players, but if this is sustainable you'll see me at it for a good while.

My car's in need of repairs, so I spent most of the day at home. Luckily for me, I decided to put in some hands at $1/$2 heads up.

I had a really, really good day and I feel like I played really, really well. Dropping down has helped my confidence a ton, since I feel I'm clearly better than the opponents I face, and I don't mind losing a buyin if I get caught doing something crazy.

There isn't a whole lot interesting to report handwise, although I did have a fun spot where after I check-raise bluffed a chronic minbetter on the turn and bet again on the river and showed four high after he folded, I stacked him two hands later when he called my river shove with the nut straight with... queen high.

I just feel like at these stakes I'm playing much more fearlessly, and not worrying about the variance really opens up my game and lets me run over my opponents. I'm hoping that I can keep this consistent. I won't make this much every day, but if I play this well, I have no doubt I'll show big consistent results.

I returned to Austin a couple of days ago, and I haven't been playing poker since. Haven't been reading the forums, really, either, and only occasionally thinking about the game.

I decided to give my head a rest, both chemically and from the stresses of poker. I think giving myself some time and maintenance will clear out bad thought processes and mistakes I've been making. I've had too much negativity around my poker playing lately. It's a game! It's supposed to be fun! It certainly isn't meaningful or productive enough to be playing if it makes me miserable.

So I think when I'm done with this little break, I'm going to drop down really low, like NL100, because I won't stress over dropping a few buyins, and I can afford to take the swings that come with playing what I feel is properly aggressive. I feel like the pressure to win lately has made me afraid to put money at risk, and I need to undo that, because you can't make money without risking it.

Oh, and just so this isn't completely without content, there's something I want to quote for you that explains very well how I think about tournaments and why I do things differently than so many of the forum regulars. Nat Arem ("N 82 50 24" on 2+2), who you may know best as the

Anyway, in a response to a question from Bond about who he thinks the best tournament players are and what separates them from the pack, he said this:

"They're all really really good at winning lots of pots without showing down. I hate the concept of tourney life for the most part, but there is some merit to winning small pots and figuring out how and when people are most likely to fold. Becoming a big winner by playing a solid tourney game with a few late position steals is a thing of the past IMO. Some people seem to be afraid to look stupid or put their chips in bad and that's a huge handicap for them. Assuming you've played a lot of hands, I feel like going with your instincts will get you more tourney success than anything else."

And in eighteen months, I've been trying to tell everyone this, and never gotten it quite right. But it's simply: Winning pots without showdown, and knowing when people will fold and how to make then fold, is the single most important skill that will improve your tournament results. And the only way to sharpen your instincts for when those spots are right is to practice and try and take risks sometimes and fail sometimes.

Lots of marginally winning players complain about the {lucky / terrible / spewy} {clowns / donkeys / fish} that seem to win everything in sight. How they "always suck out {at a final table / in a big pot}". And it's true, they do. But the reason they suck out is because they've been slamming at every pot, pushing everyone off them, piling up chips without showdown (because, remember, if you win without showdown, you are 100% to get the pot). And they don't slow down when they get played back at, and sometimes they get caught moving on a draw or a weak-ish hand. When they suck out there, or they win their races, they win the tournaments. It's a style that requires you to get lucky at the key times, but it requires you to get lucky a hell of a lot less often. And success in this game is found by understanding and minimizing luck's role in it, is it not?

I didn't cash in the WCOOP main event, and as I've been saying for some time, I'm quitting tournaments for a while.

I just haven't been having fun playing tournaments lately. Instead, I've been feeling pressure to win, expectations of winning, and failure and disappointment as a result, not the fun, free-wheeling gambler's mentality you need to be successful in tournaments-- the ability to just roll with the punches and get your money in and try to push people out of pots-- and most importantly, not be afraid to lose.

Until I can start playing tournaments like that again, I'm not going to play them for a while. Instead, I'm going to try a steady grind at shorthanded and heads-up cash games. My expenses are low right now because I'm not travelling anywhere (at least not expectedly), so I'm just gonna move down to some lower-stakes games where I can regain my confidence, have fun, and not be afraid to play the way I need to play to win.

Reports from the journey forthcoming.