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And a diamond is just a lump of coal until it's been under pressure.

And other platitudes to make me feel better about the frustration of the last few days.

I've been trying to put in lots of volume, both to rebuild my online bankroll and to prepare myself for Vegas. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of close-but-no-cigar chances at scores-- slight cashes, money bubbles, and the like-- and even the occasional final table doesn't quite pan out. Tonight I finished 6th in the Stars $22r for $1600, which put me at +600 on the day-- which does beat losing, but it's a far cry from the big score I could have used.

I busted many things in painful fashion as well-- getting outdrawn, losing races, and being victimized by the Timex theorem more than once (essentially, your opponent always has the weakest hand possible that dominates yours). Just seemed like a day where I couldn't make the right decision in any close spot.

Of course, it was still a winning day, so it really wasn't even that bad, all in all. And yet, I complain. I'm my harshest critic and own worst enemy.

I need to find a way to keep my cool about poker. I can't do it consistently right now, and that bothers me, because it only makes me play worse and stay stressed and miserable and hate the game. Every time I think I've learned something about staying humble and patient, calm and levelheaded, I'm tested even more.

At this rate I'll be able to survive the end of the world. But it'd be nice to win a tournament first.

I'm taking tomorrow off; I've put in about 20 hours the last three days, and I could use the break, and some more time with my friends.