“Awesome. I think he’s gonna die.”

After insisting to my wife and friends that the flu bug that’s savaged everyone I know would leave me untouched, I was immediately hammered by same. I’ll be honest, I felt it coming on and thought I could brush it off with Contac and cough drops, but after a lunch meeting at the Commerce in which all I remember was fighting to stay conscious, I dragged myself home and resigned myself to ridicule.

My wife would have been well within her rights to let me suffer, but instead she responded like Clara Barton possessed and spent the next 24 hours pelting me with Tylenol and antibiotics and serving up a foul round of cough medicine shots every four hours. Our living room looked like a Civil War field hospital and the cat had a strangely satisfied look on his face.

“In seat 9…providing the overlay…EdmondDantes”

Forty-eight hours later, I’m happy to report that her strategy worked and I’m feeling 100% better, just in time for a crazy session lakong and I have planned with the folks from Live at the Bike, now known as PokerNetcast. On Monday night, we’ll be hosting a $1K buy-in single table tournament with hole cams, video, commentators, the whole shebang. The current line up includes: Adanthar, nath, Shaniac, SirWatts, shaundeeb, Jose Canseco, Thayer. The flu knocked out two of the scheduled players, so we’re still scrambling a bit but I’m pretty sure we’ll round the table out. As a last resort, LakeofFire or I will fill in the final spot.

In a few weeks, we’ll be posting this dark comedy, access to the LATB archives and providing some videos with commentary which we'll segue into some new instructional content. It should be some interesting and entertaining viewing, and we’re pretty excited about it. In any event, I’ll post after the completion of the sit-n-go and let you know how it went.

Edmond

On Tuesday, I rolled down to the Commerce around 2:30p and hunted down shaundeeb for a lunch at the Arena Bar and Grill, Commerce’s sports bar. I'd never met SFD and braced myself for a conversation without punctuation, but he surprised me with complete sentences and cogent thought. A few minutes into lunch, LakeofFire showed up and then David Mosikian, Player Relations god for the Commerce, wandered over and, as I found out later, picked up the tab. I wish I had known; I’d have ordered a couple of extra entrees to go.

After lunch, I signed up for the $1,000 NL event (Event #19). I didn’t look like they were going to get that many entrants, but by the start there were well over 25 tables going. The official count was 268 entrants with a $72k first prize.

Like many of the prelims, the structure was pretty quick—one hour levels, but 3000 chips and 25/50 blinds to start. I never really got anything going throughout the tournament. I definitely had some decent hands AA (3 times), KK and flopped trips and two pair (twice) but never could get paid off I finished about 50th when I shoved UTG with KQo with <10BB. KQo < ATs…nice playing with you guys.

High points on the day…

- Men the Master two seats to my left at my first table. He got down within a chip or two of the felt when he shoved with top pair, bad kicker, 3rd nut flush draw on the turn. He immediately doubled back up when a guy called his push with K high and redoubled when he insta-called an all-in with A2s. Deeb put it succinctly in the text message. “lol asians” No caps or punctuation, of course.

- Dinner in the Eden restaurant with SFD, SirWatts, grafyx and Lake. Grilled salmon…tasty…and good for you!

- LakeofFire flaming out in typical spectacular fashion, zooming up to several thousand BBs within the first two hours and then blowing it all before the dinner break. I thought he’d dusted the stack off on two hands, but as he corrected me, he had way too many chips to do it in just two hands. Three then, whatever.

- Meeting JP OSU of "I got mugged for 30k in Australia" fame on a break.

- Grinding through 80% of the field and not getting paid despite three pairs of pocket aces, a pair of pocket kings, flopped trips and two pairs ad nauseum because I’m a grey-haired nit and only play the nuts, obv.

- Moving to shaundeeb’s table short and having him mock me with a “Nice stack, sir!” and having him shake his head in disgust when I was shown the rail with my KQo < ATs.

- Other notables in the event: David Pham, Jennifer Tilly, a guy directly to my right supposedly never played a hand of poker before today but “is really good at blackjack.” You’ll be fine, sir. The games require skill sets…

Anyway, I should have some better stuff to talk about next week. Adanthar and nath are allegedly coming out. we're doing some filming with some of the guys on Monday and I have another deal that looks like it might just close later in the week. Plus, deeb's in a room with my credit card on file, unsupervised...

Last night I went down to meet up with 2+2er Heisenb3rg who’s in town from Toronto to grind out some limit and check on lakong in the 6-max turbo (busto) and LakeofFire in the single table tournaments (couple of chops). After having a drink with Heisenb3rg, I surveyed the cash game action. Check this out, last night (Wed) around 9p, at least 45 tables of NL and tons of other action!

Main Poker Room



No limit

6+ tables of 1/2 $40 max
7 tables 2/3 $100 max
9 tables 3/5 $200 max
13 tables 5/10 $400 max
8 tables of 10/20 $600+
1 table of 20/40 $2k+
Interest for a 50/100 NL
1 table of 100/200 NL $30k+
1 table of 200/400 NL

Limit

1 table of 1/2
3 tables of 2/4
X tables of 4/8 missed this but I know they’re spreading it
2 tables of 8/16 half kill
4 tables of 9/18
4 tables of 40/80
3 tables of 60/120
3 tables of 100/200
1 table of 200/400
1 table of 400/800
1 table of 300/600 mixed
1 table of 600/1200 mixed

Other games

2 tables of Chinese poker; one 100/Kondition, one 200/Kondition
4 tables of 4/8 stud
Interest for 40/80 stud 8 or better
2 tables 4/8 Omaha hi/lo
2 tables of 30/60 Omaha hi-lo split with 1/3 kill
Interest list for PLO

I probably missed some games but you get the idea. Among the name players I saw: an oddly sober Layne Flack playing Badugi; Eli Elezra, Jennifer Harman and Todd Brunson in what looked to be an 800/1600 mixed game; Jean-Robert Bellande voted off Survivor but welcome in 100/200 NL; and Shawn Sheikhan playing Chinese poker short-handed. In the tournament room, Mel Judah, Shannon Elizabeth and lots of knuckleheads I recognized from other events.


You girls here with anyone else?

I hadn’t planned on playing but as I was wandering around the tournament room, they were seating a $280 sit-n-go and needed a final entrant. An omen, obv. I took the seat. The $280 sit-n-go starts with 1500 chips, 25/25 blinds and 15-minute levels. My tablemates reminded me of my ex—bloated, unthinking and little regard for value. I mentally booked the easy win.



I'd barely settled in and called for a cocktail waitress, when on the 2nd hand of the tournament, I looked down at pocket queens. Now two girls and me flush with cash is an obvious trouble spot, but with one Jack Daniels in me and another on order, I felt up for the challenge. One EP limper to me, I raised 100 and got three callers.

The flop was a nice QJ2.

The players checked to me. The arrival of the 3rd little temptress filled me with lust, and I showed off for the girls by tossing $300 into the pot. One for each of you!

Call. Call. EP limper now shoved. WTF? Sir, I’m not abandoning three hotties at this party and leaving. I call. Call. Crying call. Ok, let’s see them, folks.

EP guy who re-raised me all-in flips up 22.
I present my harem with pride QQ.
Pretender to my left shows KT.
And Crying Caller shows T9.

Sadly, like other similar situations (me lit, multiple women), this ended with me short on cash when an unwelcome third party presented himself—in this case, a river K. Stunned by this pimp, I prepared to head out in shame. But as the winner (Crying Caller) scooped the pot, I realized he had donked off a few chips in the very first hand. I collected a $375 side pot. Taxi fare.

Guy to my right says “Hey, you made money!”
“Well, not exactly.” I responded as I sat back down.
“Oh…yeah…I guess you’re right.”

The blinds were only 25/25 and I still had chips, so like any guy so worked, I struggled to rebuild. Ironically, I built back up to 800 courtesy of JJ which held multi-way but bounced out shortly thereafter when I called a shove on my blind with AQo. AQo < ATs and I was out.

Ok, let me get this right, Edmond…you get it in right with four women and you’re home by 11p with no money? Well, yeah...but I'm going back. The cash games are SICK!

Edmond

Vegas for the Super Bowl?

Yikes, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated. We’ve been over the top busy with site-related updates and fixes, upcoming new features and partnerships. I’ve been splitting my remaining time between a casino project in Fresno and my day job as an ersatz piano salesman. Finally, I’ve been having computer problems almost daily which, for a liberal arts/content guy, is a total drag. None of these are good excuses for not posting but still—work can be such an intrusion to regular posting.

First things first, I’ll be in Las Vegas at the Mirage or Bellagio to watch the New England Patriots introduce Eli Manning and the Giants to men’s football. If anyone expects to be in town for that dark comedy, email me. BTW, if you’ve got the option to go to Vegas for the Super Bowl, I recommend it. I’ve been to the game live and watched it from a casino SB party. The Vegas play is far superior—better intensity (someone has something riding on every play), better food and, of course, the opportunity to fleece poker newbies before and after the game.

After I collect on my betting tickets, I’ll be back in LA and expect to take a couple of runs at LAPC events and satellites. I haven’t played a live tournament since my Club One Casino Ace of Diamonds flameout, so my entry fee should provide a nice overlay to the other entrants. If you’re in town, I’m the skinny, grey-haired guy with the voice recorder sucking up to casino personnel in between hands. Can’t miss me.


Comedy Night at Club One

On my last Fresno trip, I did manage to return to Club One for a little live poker. It was a busy Thursday night with about 15 cash games and another half-dozen tournament tables running. The Club’s biweekly $5/10 NL game and the Thurs night re-buy always draws a pretty good crowd. I got a couple of shots with my camera phone here...


The main board



The main room



Another look




I didn’t have much dough with me and there was a list for the $5/10 and the $3/5 NL, so I sat down in the $2/2 NL $40-100 min-max. The 2/2 game at Club One includes the usual mix of a couple solid players, more players who overplay 2nd pair and draws and a nice complement of limp/call/”Dammit, I missed the flop again” post-flop folders.

Some highlights from the session…


Hand 1

About an hour in, I was up a buy-in courtesy of a pair of jacks versus some other hand that felt the need to check/call to the river on a 33TKK board. In any event, I was in middle position with KK, bumped it to $8 and got four callers.

The flop came AKJ and the big blind, an Indian guy talking non-stop, pushed for $80+. I called knowing that my set of kings was good but he scooped with A4 when the 2 hit the river. The guy was annoying about the beat, celebrating and taunting that I “never should have called”, but in the spirit of my namesake I just made a mental note to even the score at a future date.


Hand 2

A woman shoved $500 into a $30 pot on a QJx rainbow board with at least three left to act and was called immediately by a player sitting with $200. Her T9 failed to get there and he picked up 100BB with TPTK. I saw her do it twice more over the course of the evening, each time with a straight draw. The guy to my left (her friend) commented to her that he can always tell when she’s on a draw because she overbets huge, to which she responded…”Well, I just wanted to take down the pot on the flop. I didn’t want a call.” I love low stakes NL!


Hand 3

I lost the balance of my stack when KQo < KJo on a KT7 board all-in on the flop. J turn and I was looking for a chip runner.


Hand 4

I tripled up with pocket QQ v AA v JJ all-in pre-flop. QJxxx board and I owed an apology to the AA player to my direct left.


Hand 5

A gross angle shoot was thwarted when the same woman who over-bet her draw above moved in at the river on a KQx9x board. She was called by my earlier nemesis, who now tabled AA. When she showed her K9 and moved her other stacks out to be matched, he backpedaled and tried to say she checked the river. What, are you serious?

What made the play laughable was that the woman had waved her arms toward the pot and clearly said “All-in!”. He then stood up and shouted “Ok, ma’am, I call you!” and threw down his aces…in front of 8 other players, a dealer and a floor person overlooking the table. Even still, it took a good five minutes of howling to sort it out and ended with him congratulating her on her “nice hand” in a lame attempt to whitewash his foul. Dude, enough already.


“I want to see the hand!”

At one point in the game, the player in seat 10 moved in on a 99xx board and was called by another player. The river blanked and seat 10 showed his A9 winner. The caller mucked but the annoying Indian guy, who had folded on the flop, shouted “Dealer! Dealer! I want to see that hand!” At that point, the dealer retrieved the losing hand from the muck and flipped it up.

For those of you who are newer to the game, it may not seem like a big deal and, in fact, the house rules permit the play. But it’s HORRIBLE table ethics. The genesis of the IWTSTH rule was to detect collusion but it’s now routinely abused by players to gain information. I’m happy to see that a number of rooms in Vegas are reversing the trend (thread on 2+2 about Vegas rooms and the IWTSTH rule) and I’d encourage other rooms to follow suit.

I ended the evening around 3a, up about $120 on my original buy-in. Not the life-changing dollars that shaundeeb et al. toss around at the blackjack table, but righteous bucks nonetheless. I look at it like I’m getting paid $30 bucks an hour to watch comedy? I’ll do that. Besides, I’ll be doing the same in Vegas this Sunday for a markedly higher wage.


Saturday night with two little screamers

Finally, I’m happy to report that I’ve fixed at least one of my offending computers. Hearing about the problems I was having, a hardware guru friend offered to take a look at my desktops and shrieked with laughter when I opened the cases. I didn’t follow what he was saying but I caught phrases like “that’s way too small” “grossly inadequate” and “obvious performance issues.”

Now I’d heard feedback like that before, albeit in a different context with different players, and it wasn’t criticism I was anxious to hear. Unlike the prior circumstance, though, he assured me that it was easily resolved with a trip to Fry’s, a credit card and a few hours work.

Ergo, I spent the better part of a rainy Saturday shuttling between Fry’s and the garage installing new motherboards, video cards and the like and re-installing operating systems. Now one of the computers (the one on which I’m writing) breezes along like Randy Moss one-on-one in the Giants secondary, but the other one still has some issues. It looks fine, but like Tomlinson in the AFC title game, it crapped out shortly after the first two runs and is now sitting petulant on the sidelines waiting for more attention.

With my one new and improved confuser, I feel strangely inspired, like the apes circling the monolith in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. I’m certain my next post will come sooner than this one, especially with the blog tracker showing me in 9th place. And I promise it will have some interesting reading!

For those of you, too young to have seen Kubrick’s classic, you can catch the opening scene here…
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Edmond

Just a reminder, the LA Poker Classic starts tomorrow (Thu, 1/24). I won't be playing the first events but will play a few the 2nd week and a couple of satellites for the final event. If anyone's in town or needs info, let me know!

For handy reference...

Guide to the LAPC

Schedule of events

Commerce tournament page

Edmond