“Awesome. I think he’s gonna die.”

After insisting to my wife and friends that the flu bug that’s savaged everyone I know would leave me untouched, I was immediately hammered by same. I’ll be honest, I felt it coming on and thought I could brush it off with Contac and cough drops, but after a lunch meeting at the Commerce in which all I remember was fighting to stay conscious, I dragged myself home and resigned myself to ridicule.

My wife would have been well within her rights to let me suffer, but instead she responded like Clara Barton possessed and spent the next 24 hours pelting me with Tylenol and antibiotics and serving up a foul round of cough medicine shots every four hours. Our living room looked like a Civil War field hospital and the cat had a strangely satisfied look on his face.

“In seat 9…providing the overlay…EdmondDantes”

Forty-eight hours later, I’m happy to report that her strategy worked and I’m feeling 100% better, just in time for a crazy session lakong and I have planned with the folks from Live at the Bike, now known as PokerNetcast. On Monday night, we’ll be hosting a $1K buy-in single table tournament with hole cams, video, commentators, the whole shebang. The current line up includes: Adanthar, nath, Shaniac, SirWatts, shaundeeb, Jose Canseco, Thayer. The flu knocked out two of the scheduled players, so we’re still scrambling a bit but I’m pretty sure we’ll round the table out. As a last resort, LakeofFire or I will fill in the final spot.

In a few weeks, we’ll be posting this dark comedy, access to the LATB archives and providing some videos with commentary which we'll segue into some new instructional content. It should be some interesting and entertaining viewing, and we’re pretty excited about it. In any event, I’ll post after the completion of the sit-n-go and let you know how it went.

Edmond

On Tuesday, I rolled down to the Commerce around 2:30p and hunted down shaundeeb for a lunch at the Arena Bar and Grill, Commerce’s sports bar. I'd never met SFD and braced myself for a conversation without punctuation, but he surprised me with complete sentences and cogent thought. A few minutes into lunch, LakeofFire showed up and then David Mosikian, Player Relations god for the Commerce, wandered over and, as I found out later, picked up the tab. I wish I had known; I’d have ordered a couple of extra entrees to go.

After lunch, I signed up for the $1,000 NL event (Event #19). I didn’t look like they were going to get that many entrants, but by the start there were well over 25 tables going. The official count was 268 entrants with a $72k first prize.

Like many of the prelims, the structure was pretty quick—one hour levels, but 3000 chips and 25/50 blinds to start. I never really got anything going throughout the tournament. I definitely had some decent hands AA (3 times), KK and flopped trips and two pair (twice) but never could get paid off I finished about 50th when I shoved UTG with KQo with <10BB. KQo < ATs…nice playing with you guys.

High points on the day…

- Men the Master two seats to my left at my first table. He got down within a chip or two of the felt when he shoved with top pair, bad kicker, 3rd nut flush draw on the turn. He immediately doubled back up when a guy called his push with K high and redoubled when he insta-called an all-in with A2s. Deeb put it succinctly in the text message. “lol asians” No caps or punctuation, of course.

- Dinner in the Eden restaurant with SFD, SirWatts, grafyx and Lake. Grilled salmon…tasty…and good for you!

- LakeofFire flaming out in typical spectacular fashion, zooming up to several thousand BBs within the first two hours and then blowing it all before the dinner break. I thought he’d dusted the stack off on two hands, but as he corrected me, he had way too many chips to do it in just two hands. Three then, whatever.

- Meeting JP OSU of "I got mugged for 30k in Australia" fame on a break.

- Grinding through 80% of the field and not getting paid despite three pairs of pocket aces, a pair of pocket kings, flopped trips and two pairs ad nauseum because I’m a grey-haired nit and only play the nuts, obv.

- Moving to shaundeeb’s table short and having him mock me with a “Nice stack, sir!” and having him shake his head in disgust when I was shown the rail with my KQo < ATs.

- Other notables in the event: David Pham, Jennifer Tilly, a guy directly to my right supposedly never played a hand of poker before today but “is really good at blackjack.” You’ll be fine, sir. The games require skill sets…

Anyway, I should have some better stuff to talk about next week. Adanthar and nath are allegedly coming out. we're doing some filming with some of the guys on Monday and I have another deal that looks like it might just close later in the week. Plus, deeb's in a room with my credit card on file, unsupervised...

Last night I went down to meet up with 2+2er Heisenb3rg who’s in town from Toronto to grind out some limit and check on lakong in the 6-max turbo (busto) and LakeofFire in the single table tournaments (couple of chops). After having a drink with Heisenb3rg, I surveyed the cash game action. Check this out, last night (Wed) around 9p, at least 45 tables of NL and tons of other action!

Main Poker Room



No limit

6+ tables of 1/2 $40 max
7 tables 2/3 $100 max
9 tables 3/5 $200 max
13 tables 5/10 $400 max
8 tables of 10/20 $600+
1 table of 20/40 $2k+
Interest for a 50/100 NL
1 table of 100/200 NL $30k+
1 table of 200/400 NL

Limit

1 table of 1/2
3 tables of 2/4
X tables of 4/8 missed this but I know they’re spreading it
2 tables of 8/16 half kill
4 tables of 9/18
4 tables of 40/80
3 tables of 60/120
3 tables of 100/200
1 table of 200/400
1 table of 400/800
1 table of 300/600 mixed
1 table of 600/1200 mixed

Other games

2 tables of Chinese poker; one 100/Kondition, one 200/Kondition
4 tables of 4/8 stud
Interest for 40/80 stud 8 or better
2 tables 4/8 Omaha hi/lo
2 tables of 30/60 Omaha hi-lo split with 1/3 kill
Interest list for PLO

I probably missed some games but you get the idea. Among the name players I saw: an oddly sober Layne Flack playing Badugi; Eli Elezra, Jennifer Harman and Todd Brunson in what looked to be an 800/1600 mixed game; Jean-Robert Bellande voted off Survivor but welcome in 100/200 NL; and Shawn Sheikhan playing Chinese poker short-handed. In the tournament room, Mel Judah, Shannon Elizabeth and lots of knuckleheads I recognized from other events.


You girls here with anyone else?

I hadn’t planned on playing but as I was wandering around the tournament room, they were seating a $280 sit-n-go and needed a final entrant. An omen, obv. I took the seat. The $280 sit-n-go starts with 1500 chips, 25/25 blinds and 15-minute levels. My tablemates reminded me of my ex—bloated, unthinking and little regard for value. I mentally booked the easy win.



I'd barely settled in and called for a cocktail waitress, when on the 2nd hand of the tournament, I looked down at pocket queens. Now two girls and me flush with cash is an obvious trouble spot, but with one Jack Daniels in me and another on order, I felt up for the challenge. One EP limper to me, I raised 100 and got three callers.

The flop was a nice QJ2.

The players checked to me. The arrival of the 3rd little temptress filled me with lust, and I showed off for the girls by tossing $300 into the pot. One for each of you!

Call. Call. EP limper now shoved. WTF? Sir, I’m not abandoning three hotties at this party and leaving. I call. Call. Crying call. Ok, let’s see them, folks.

EP guy who re-raised me all-in flips up 22.
I present my harem with pride QQ.
Pretender to my left shows KT.
And Crying Caller shows T9.

Sadly, like other similar situations (me lit, multiple women), this ended with me short on cash when an unwelcome third party presented himself—in this case, a river K. Stunned by this pimp, I prepared to head out in shame. But as the winner (Crying Caller) scooped the pot, I realized he had donked off a few chips in the very first hand. I collected a $375 side pot. Taxi fare.

Guy to my right says “Hey, you made money!”
“Well, not exactly.” I responded as I sat back down.
“Oh…yeah…I guess you’re right.”

The blinds were only 25/25 and I still had chips, so like any guy so worked, I struggled to rebuild. Ironically, I built back up to 800 courtesy of JJ which held multi-way but bounced out shortly thereafter when I called a shove on my blind with AQo. AQo < ATs and I was out.

Ok, let me get this right, Edmond…you get it in right with four women and you’re home by 11p with no money? Well, yeah...but I'm going back. The cash games are SICK!

Edmond