Bond & Girl headed off to Macau today leaving Club One, our hostess staff and my liver struggling to recover. We enjoyed their visit, of course, but even just hanging out with them was like being a new Army recruit stationed at Abu Ghraib circa 2003. The book says you’re supposed to follow direct orders, but this wasn’t exactly in the Be All You Can Be brochure and the constant presence of the digital camera is really unsettling. Even the most dimwitted grunt would know that grainy footage will be really awkward to explain under oath. In any event, Bond & Girl are gone now—off to some other live event in some exotic land—and we’re here trying to contain the resultant liability and erase any and all digital evidence before the process servers arrive.

Under advice of counsel, I can’t relate all the events of the 5 days past, but I can reference the tamer events including a viewing of The Dark Knight at the local IMAX theater—ten thumbs up from the five viewers in our party; a trip to the Sequoia National Forest; which Bond summed up thus, "Those are some big @#$%^& trees." and several shameful drinking/karaoke sessions in our full bar. In one of the gigs, Bond and I took a run at the song Kokomo, a former #1 Beach Boys hit, a tune that we thought would be improved with our own harmonics and a three syllable spin on Fresno. Fortunately for 2R readers, this “event” has been uploaded to YouTube by our capable staff and available for easy viewing below.

Fresono!



In and of itself, that mauling of one of VH1’s 40 Most Awesomely Bad No. 1 Songs should prove that we at Club One are in our own little world of surrealism. Once he’s safe in a country with no extradition treaty, I’m sure Bond will be happy to share other more lurid and twisted events that will hammer all doubt from your mind. Until then, I offer the following footage of a Club One customer attempting to place a blackjack bet with an ounce or two of a local cash crop, caught on our own surveillance cameras.

Betting with weed



No, I kid you not.

Edmond

Chooose an identity

Login/Register Enter Name Anonymous

Log in with your TwoRags.com account. Click here to register. Email: Password: Remember log-in information Name: