Ok, so the Monte Carlo leg of my vacation was a bit of a bust. The Hotel de Paris is a garish monstrosity with small rooms, confused signage and too many plastic people for my taste. I like history and love most cities in Europe, but the whole setting was just too much. I spent a gross amount of money and still felt like I’d spent two days in steerage of a cruise ship run aground on the coast of France.

Trust me, it was horrible...



I did take the opportunity to have a look at Le Casino, the magnificent but sedate casino adjacent to the hotel. At Club One, we have more table game action than they do, but they obviously trump us with slots, location and prestige. It’s funny the things you notice as an owner—no photo ID badges on the staff, high camera placement, no sound from the slots, lower table minimums than I’d have guessed, etc. Their guests are somewhat better dressed than ours, too.

Le Casino



Monte Carlo itself is a gem built into the side of the Maritime Alps, but its tax haven status and rep as a jet-set hot spot attracts a ongoing stream of drifters and charlatans who happen to use yachts or Bentleys for transportation. The general theme is “Look at me! Let me show you how much money I have to blow!” and everything is shiny from the cars (it’s a crime to drive an unwashed car), to the baubles (every luxury brand over-represented), to the skin of the visitors (tanned and tucked to extreme). After two days, I’d had my fill of the gaudy consumption and fled to Italy.

I’m now holed up in the Four Seasons in Florence after a day-long skirmish with taxis and Hertz which I settled by offering a wad of Euros to a driver in San Remo and querying “Firenze?” The hotel recently reopened after a multi-year renovation and in terms of facility and service easily blows the Hotel de Paris back into the Mediterranean. To compare the two hotels is sort of like comparing Pam Anderson and Angelina Jolie sans tattoo. The former has the goods albeit renovated but after two nights you'll be looking for the door; the latter is just as sexy but more suited for an extended stay.

The view from the back door



My current locale, Florence, is the capital city of the Tuscany region of Italy with a population of about 370,000, some 100,000 fewer people than the city of Fresno. It was home to the Medicis (the bankers) and Dante Alighieri (a namesake of sorts), the birthplace of da Vinci and occasional home of Michelangelo (damned talented Italians, IMO) and is widely considered a cultural center of Europe. Tonight I’m embracing its long tradition of poetry and art by completing CVPC Part II and watching “21” on DVD.

The Line-up for the Celeb event

The Central Valley Poker Championships kicked off on Sunday August 3rd at Club One, with 221 players competing for over $13,000. We followed with a different tournament each day of the week until the highlights, Event #6, the Celebrity Bounty Event on Friday, and Event #7, the $50,000 Guaranteed Main Event on Saturday. As I mentioned in Part I of my CVPC recep, for Friday’s event, we had invited a number of notables including:

Jose Canseco - 1988 American League MVP, six-time MLB all-star, aspiring poker player
Ashley Collette – an FHM magazine model, voted one of the "100 Sexiest Women Alive"
Mike & Janet Dages - Fresno City Councilman and his wife, both good friends of Club One Casino
Shaun "shaundeeb" Deeb – Top-5 ranked online tournament player worldwide
Barbara Enright – member, Women in Poker Hall of Fame, the only woman to final table a WSOP main event and winner of the 2008 Legends of Poker Ladies event
Terence Frazier - former major league baseball player and local Fresno entrepreneur
Steve "TT" McLoughlin and Serge "Adanthar" Ravitch – moderators on TwoPlusTwo.com, the world's leading poker website
Matt O'Dette - captain of the Fresno Falcons hockey team
Max Shapiro – writer for CardPlayer magazine
Jason Von Flue – Club One-sponsored mixed martial arts fighter and contestant on Ultimate Fighter 2
Marsha Waggoner – “Lady Poker Extraordinaire”, member of the Women in Poker Hall of Fame and international rep for Crown Casino in Australia and

On Friday, I got up early, shook off the Cabernet cobwebs from the previous night and hit the gym before our other invited guests began filing in. Adanthar,, TT, Shaun, Barbara and Max stumbled in piecemeal from next door, and by 4p, Jose Canseco and his girlfriend, Heidi Northcutt, a stunner who runs an online marketing business, Ashley Collette, Marsha Waggoner, Matt O’Dette and Jason Von Flue were all wandering around the casino getting their bearings.

Our patrons were inspired by the presence of such luminaries. Club One customers aren’t shy with their support of odd causes—Fresno State, the 49ers, open-ended straight draws—and proudly show support through apparel, tattoos and in the case of the OESD, a shove in the face of little or no fold equity. Nonetheless, I was surprised when one of the staff pointed out that a customer had shaved our logo into his head for the event.

At first I thought she was joking, but upon inspection, I confirmed that it was true. Note that he wasn’t responding to any sort of competition—his haircut was completely unsolicited. I thanked him for his show of support and asked him to stand for a photo. I also planted the seed for an upgrade, noting that if he shaved his head bald and tattooed our logo and phone number across his skull, I’d considered reimbursing him for his out-of-pocket expense.



We’d run “celebrity” events before but I was curious to see our staff’s ability to manage this crew of documented miscreants without incident. When you own a card room, there’s always the grey cloud of regulatory oversight over whatever you do. Most days I feel like I’m leading a pack of rowdy degenerates through a gauntlet of DUI checkpoints with several of them standing up through the sunroof howling profanities and toasting the officers as we drive by. I’m convinced it’s only a matter of time before I hear a short siren burst and a sobering “Been drinking tonight have we, boys?”

Off we go!

But we’re nothing if not committed and the event started with over 90 civilians joining our celebs in NL combat. I introduced our invited guests to polite applause and cued our tournament director to initiate action.

Nice crowd



We structured all our CVPC events with 10,000 start chips, 25/50 start blinds and 30-minute rounds so I’d done my part to stack the event in favor of our ringers. On the other hand, I added $100 bounty on each to make sure anytime they entered a pot they’d have most of the table tagging along. As any experienced gunslinger can tell you, the price on a man’s head matters more than the size of his weapon, and that maxim held true in Event #6. All the invited pros busted out well before the bubble. In fact, I’m not sure any of them made the first break or even posted an ante.

There was a nervous moment early when Barbara was all-in with a set of sixes with four spades on the board. She was convinced she’d be the first to the rail, but I knew her flopped set was the nuts. Sure enough, at the river, the other players in the pot showed 3rd pair, top kicker A5 and two pair, respectively. Barbara scooped the pot and commented, “I thought for sure one of them had the flush.” Welcome to Club One, hon.

I’m telling you, they don’t have spades



Out they go!

Ironically, world top five shaundeeb was the first pro out when his 55 on a 432 board failed to improve against an overpair.

A confluence of beauty and talent



Adanthar was out next with some random trash like TPTK.

Bemused, obv



TT lasted the longest of the boys from out of state. I’m not sure what sent him to the rail, but it was probably some odd hand and line which convinced that Fresno poker is stuck in 2004.

TT, the Councilman and Jose back-to-back-to-back



Jose lasted longer than our “pro” players but still got bounced well before the money. His girlfriend fared better and stormed into the final table as the chip leader. Of the other notables, only Jason Von Flue, a poker novice coached between hands by LakeofFire, made the final table. The others crapped out and ended up in the restaurant multi-tabling.

Back to the comfort zone



A seasoned competitor

Jose once again proved himself a surprising asset for any poker event. Say what you want about the off-field drama, the 1988 AL MVP shows up on time, looks like a pro athlete and socializes with everyone. He’s also an enthusiastic player who’s open to any poker-related conversation. If you own a card room and don’t invite him to your events, you do your room and your customers a huge disservice.

Charter member, 40/40 Club



Specifically, he was gracious and friendly with everyone, including all our regular short on social skills card room riff-raff. None of Hellmuth’s “I am a poker god. Lower your eyes in my presence.” or [fill in the name of most poker pros]’s “Pardon me while I get too drunk to complete a sentence.” nonsense. After he busted out on Friday night, he gave an impromptu interview to a local TV station and then on Saturday, sat for a staged interview to two others. He also signed piles of Club One gear for gawkers and stood for a ton of photos. Not only that, he sat in our 2/5 NL game and went on a huge heater in the 2/2 NL game on Saturday, running a $100 stack up to about $800 in minutes when his top set got paid off in a multi-way pot. I’m not sure our regulars liked the way he drained their cash from the table, but his presence was a real treat for the Fresno poker community.

Workin’ the 2/5 NL game



He juggled the TV guys like a veteran and gave a good interview with lots of props to the casino. And as I alluded above, his girlfriend Heidi is hot, smart and can play--she finished 5th or 6th in the event and knew exactly what she was doing throughout. Admittedly, she pulled a wicked suck out with ATo v AA at the final table but hey, we all would if we could.

The Grand Dames et al.

A word or two on the other out-of-town guests. Barbara Enright and Max Shapiro were both a hoot and a fun addition to the event. Barbara has a pile of stories from her days married to a former Dodger (as in baseball, not tax) and the last 30 years loitering in poker rooms taking money from hapless chumps. Throughout the weekend, she kept threatening to publish her lurid stories, and I dabbled with the notion of optioning the lot.

The storyteller



Max Shapiro is her straight man, a polite craftsman of words who’s authored over 120 articles for CardPlayer magazine. In other words, he was writing about poker well before writing about poker was cool. He was gracious and complimentary throughout the weekend and I took his “We were very pleasantly surprised with your card room.” as high praise. He’s seen a lot of rooms.

Max Shapiro



Marsha Waggoner, a friend of Barbara’s, was another colorful addition to the event. Like Barbara, Marsha made a nice living separating men from their stacks and she’s got her own satchel of road stories. The “Grand Dame of Poker” is an executive host at Hollywood Park and spokesperson for Crown Casino in Australia and has a great nose for value. She spent most of the weekend camped in the 15/30 game.

Marsha "Lady Poker Extraordinaire" Waggoner



Ashley Collette was a woman of extremes, both the best looking and least experienced of all the players in the room. We seated her at the main table with Jose, Janet Dages and Barbara Waggoner and alternated Meemee and Su near her to coach her through her first time at the table. She took to poker like a fish on a bicycle, but in a rare display of Club One hospitality, no one complained. Apparently, when you pull 17,000,000 online votes in the FHM Digital Darling competition, Club One patrons are willing to overlook your lack of poker fundamentals.

Ashley picks the dealer she wants



"Ladies, how about one more for Vanity Fair..."



The pride of Fresno

We’re sponsoring the Fresno Falcons this year as they return to Selland Arena in downtown Fresno, and in reciprocity, they sent their captain, Matt O’Dette, and a staffer from the marketing department. O’Dette is an imposing defenseman, who at 6’5” and 228 lbs. is a nightmare for opponents hurtling toward them at thirty miles an hour. He’s also got a fine roster of fights on his hockey resume and we were happy to have him in-house and on our side for the event.

On defense…Matt O'Dette



We also beefed up by inviting Jason Von Flue, a contender on Ultimate Fighter 2 and good friend of Club One. Jason’s a dangerous ground fighter who can cripple at will. He always shows for Club One charity events or pay-per-view fights and we toss a few sponsorship dollars his way for a prime spot across the back of his fight trunks. It’s part of my “keep guys in your weight class who can kill you complacent” strategy and has the added benefit of providing added exposure to our key 21-45 male demographic.

Jason and a C1 customer moments before his death



Side note: A few of us went to see Jason’s bout on he following Friday night. He was matched against a brute named Kamaka from a rough area of Oahu. Jason was the pre-fight favorite, but when the Hawaiian landed a hard right to his chin, Jason dropped hard. We freaked, but as Kamaka moved in to pummel him, Jason spun him into a hold that threatened to blow out his knee for life. Tap tap tap. The howls of approval you hear in the background in the YouTube below are Club One folks. Cue to the last 30 seconds.

Note the bottom of the shirt



Sir, that was a mistake...



Cue to the last 30 seconds




Le table finale!

Despite their talents and experience, all but two of our celebs failed to negotiate the briar patch of Club One tournament poker. Jason hacked his way through the field with LakeofFire’s careful coaching (“You’re short. Shove.”) but finally busted in 7th or 8th place. Heidi seemed to have a lock on the event; her striking looks and calculated moves resulted in a monster stack but her run ended in 5th or 6th place when a Q high shove didn't get there.



The event finally wrapped about 1a with Kevin Lusk, Oran C. and Ron M. chopping three ways for over $1600 each.

Right, ok...get out of here already…



By the time, the final three players chopped, our celebrities had either a) gone home (Ashley, Jason, Matt et al.), b) scattered throughout the casino (Barbara, Max, Marsha and TT) or c) retreated to their room to play online (Serge, Shaun). I made a mental note to invite more live limit playing celebs next year and headed to the bar to regroup before last call. Tomorrow's event would start at 12:15p sharp and I thought a hangover would add a fun twist to the day...

Next up…Central Valley Poker Championships – The Conclusion in which our notables again fail at live poker and Deeb saves face by winning $115,000 online.

Edmond

An apology of sorts

I used to pride myself on timely reporting of my poker exploits—the CA State Poker Championships, the Commerce Free-roll, Super Bowl Sunday at the Mirage—but the ownership gig really cuts into my time to relax, pour a few ounces of bourbon and fire up the laptop. Invariably, when I start working on a write-up, someone barges into my office with item requiring immediate executive decision-making:

“The second ice machine is down!”
“Seat 2 in 15/30 is complaining about karaoke!”
“One of the hostesses showed up in short shorts!”

As a good manager, I make it a point to respond quickly to these imperatives with hands on attention and measured responses.

“Send security to SaveMart for ice.”
“Tell that whiner to use his headphones.”
“Let’s have a look.”

Unfortunately, my commitment to customer service distracts from regular blog posting, and I’m forced to look for stretches of free time to piece together an account from memory.

At present, I’m sitting in business class on a United flight to Nice, en route to Monte Carlo, the first stop in a 10-day cash bonfire I’ll be witnessing in Europe while my wife enjoys her summer vacation. The inferno starts at the Hotel de Paris, my first trip to another casino as an owner and as far from Club One, literally or figuratively, as one can get. The conflagration then moves east to the Four Seasons in Florence for a couple of days so, as my wife put it, “We can stay somewhere nice.” The blaze then gets contained at a pre-paid yoga retreat at a Tuscan villa, where my wife will search for inner balance and allegedly, I’ll be able to self-immolate by the pool in peace and quiet.

I’m actually looking forward to the trip to catch up on sleep, eating and writing, all of which used to be part of my daily routine. In the meantime, I’ve got 10 hours to kill between LA and Frankfurt and I intend to unload my CVPC recap, which has been lodged in me like bad British food. I’ve been frustrated by fits and urges without meaningful result, so like a man angered by constipation, I’ve resolved to sit here until I get the damn thing out.

Ok, we'll need a couple of ringers

For those of you who missed the 7-day bender we called the 2008 Central Valley Poker Championships, mark your calendar for the sequel due out in the Summer of ’09. The inaugural series offered remarkable value for your poker and bar dollar, of course, but with a few months to stew on what we did wrong and another nine or so to pressure our vendors for even more promo dollars, CVPC Deuce should be at once entertaining and frightening. I’m hoping the Patriots will take the same approach to the 2008/09 NFL season.

The week started with Adanthar, TT and Shaundeeb all confirming attendance. Nath and SirWatts opted out, for the installation of a new grill and a wedding, respectively. Another less confident host might take offense at the rejection. Missing a trip to Club One in Fresno for a trip to the dentist or a hitching in Canada? That’s like turning down a backstage pass at a strip club to do laundry, but I reminded myself that both are still youngsters and my own superb decision-making took years of trial and error to hone.

With the three confirmations in hand, I caned our staff into a frenzy, pitching the trio as visiting dignitaries with deep poker resumes, proven social skills and vast influence throughout the poker community. I figured that would be more inspiring than the more truthful…”Ok, three geeks who spend most of their day in front of the computer in shorts will be wandering around this week. Encourage them to wear shoes in the casino, and be sure to put a tarp under them when they eat.”

My ruse worked and the staff rushed around most of the week re-training our dealers and hosts, stocking the bar, assembling gift baskets—“What? There’s no mini-bar at the Holiday Inn? That’s not going to work…”—and reminding the hotel staff that the typical HI guest’s work and sleep schedule was the exact opposite of that of our guests. By Thursday, I felt we were ready to accommodate our visitors or, at the very least, distract them from our own shortcomings.

The Holiday Inn in downtown Fresno is attached to our building and changed hands late last year. The property had been closed for several years and the new owner completed an ambitious renovation in June. We’ve got a good relationship with the management and the property is now a standout for this town, but there are still a few spots for improvement. For example, the pool’s renovation is “pending” and we’re keeping a close eye on the progress. Not that we’re nosy neighbors. It’s just that their pool happens to be directly above our security room and leaked during the demolition. I showed up one day and found our staff in ponchos and the security equipment under plastic. That said, the Holiday Inn Fresno is stupid convenient to us, the nicest place in town and home for our guests for the next few days.

Like Motel 6, only better!

Shaun was the first to arrive at Fresno International (so named, I think, a traveler once fled Fresno and ended up in Mexico) with laptop in tow. I contemplated sending a hottie waving a “Shaun %^$&#* Deeb” sign or perhaps a modest sample of the area’s leading cash crop, but my better judgment took over and I picked him up myself in the Club One cruiser.

We made the quick run into downtown Fresno and offloaded him to one of our staffers to check him into the hotel. Leaving Deeb alone in a Club One-comped room in the middle of the Central Valley is like giving him diplomatic immunity and tossing him the keys to Cheech and Chong’s van. We get certain latitude by virtue of our good citizenship and sizable employment, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t concerned given his reported appetite for leafy greens.

“Make sure his smoke alarm is disconnected, and if he leaves, follow him.”

Around four or five o’clock, Barbara Enright and Max Shapiro, a writer for CardPlayer and her significant other, rolled up in a PT Cruiser she’d won in some So Cal tournament.

Us: “Welcome to Club One!”
Her: “What’s this? I thought we were staying at Motel 6!”

We obviously managed her expectations well. I should note that I spend a good portion of any Club One sales pitch managing people’s expectations. I think we’re a quality poker shop, but I’m always leery of a customer base whose frame of reference includes the Commerce, the Bike and Bellagio. That said, what those guys do with facility, we do with people. So far, it’s worked.

Within minutes, we got Barbara and Max checked in and figured we’d see them in the restaurant later. Around 8p, I headed back to the airport to pick up Adanthar (in from NYC) and was heading into town when TT called—he’d just landed. We made a quick U-turn back to the airport and loaded him in the van. By 8:30p, our staff had checked them in and I was leading them on a quick tour of our property before dinner. I gave a thorough overview and laid the ground rules.

“Here’s the bar. The 15/30 kill game is there. And despite what you’ve seen on YouTube, we use chips for bets.”

They nodded in acknowledgment.

Dinner and poker with friends

We spent the next few hours stuffing the entire crew with Asian food and our best red and white wine. I watched for their reactions as they tried each of our menu recommendations and took the grunts and clean plates as compliments to the kitchen. After dinner, Barbara, Su, TT and I all stumbled into to casino to check out the 15/30 kill game, our big game.

As it turns out, we had one 15/30 game going with a nice list, so with the four of us, we put down another. To my immediate left were Su, our head of player relations and a limit specialist, and Barbara, an experienced all-game pro, both of whom could drink most guys stupid and relieve them, laughing, of three racks of white. To my right, TT, a thinking mixed game expert, settled in. Perfect.

I resolved to play solid and prudent poker but my guests would have none of it. Every hand was lesson in verbal inducements and clever angles that would end with one of them scooping the pot with 3rd pair no kicker or a flopped boat. After each little altercation, Barbara would howl “More wine!”, slop some more of my cabernet into everyone’s glass and demand that the dealer initiate another hand.

Like my first car, a ‘71 Buick with alignment problems, my chips veered left, careened off Su’s stack and eventually stalled in Barbara’s rack. The finest of many aggravating hands involved Su and another player chasing my pocket jacks down with inside straight draws and snapping me off for an extra bet when a third jack on the river gave me top set but completed their straights. It was too much—I jumped up and shrieked, “You’re horrible! All of you!” and berated the table until my own floor man pulled me aside and reminded me that these were our guests.

“I call bullshit! These are known thieves and harlots and if vice were here, they’d shut us down for fostering moral turpitude in a licensed facility!”

My tirade was greeted by taunts from the table to reload and I made a mental note to short them all T1000 in Friday’s celebrity event.

Shortly thereafter, I racked up under the guise of getting caught up on some work. I’d sold Barbara and TT hard on our 15/30 kill game. It’s highly predictable game and three-quarters of the table fights over each kill pot. I often read on poker forums that the Bay Area has the best limit games in California. Nonsense. There’s a reason why guys drive down from San Jose and camp out in the Holiday Inn. I later heard that Barbara and TT played the 15/30 short-handed ‘til 6a or so. Ah, vindication.


Next up…CVPC Part 2 – Game Day. In which we entertain the following “celebrities" and come to grips with an adult male shaving our logo into his head.

Jose Canseco - 1988 American League MVP, six-time MLB all-star, aspiring poker player

Ashley Collette – an FHM magazine model, voted one of the "100 Sexiest Women Alive"

Mike & Janet Dages - Fresno City Councilman and his wife, both good friends of Club One Casino

Shaun "shaundeeb" Deeb – Top-5 ranked online tournament player worldwide

Barbara Enright – member, Women in Poker Hall of Fame, the only woman to final table a WSOP main event and winner of the 2008 Legends of Poker Ladies event

Terence Frazier - former major league baseball player and local Fresno entrepreneur

Steve "TT" McLoughlin and Serge "Adanthar" Ravitch – moderators on TwoPlusTwo.com, the world's leading poker website

Matt O'Dette - captain of the Fresno Falcons hockey team

Max Shapiro – writer for CardPlayer magazine

Jason Von Flue – Club One-sponsored mixed martial arts fighter and contestant on Ultimate Fighter 2

Marsha Waggoner – “Lady Poker Extraordinaire”, member of the Women in Poker Hall of Fame and international rep for Crown Casino in Australia




What? You thought I was making this up?

Edmond

P.S. For those who like pics, here's a pictorial preview of Part 2 Pics from the CVPC Events

I'm still trying to shake off the toxic residual of the week-long assault on the Fresno poker community and our staff, but overall, I think the First Annual CVPC was a success worthy of repeat. When I feel like I can string a series of coherent sentences together, I'll provide a proper recap, but the quick highlights include:

Deeb and Adanther multi-tabling online in our bar, oblivious to 120 howling UFC fans.

Deeb winning $115,000 in the FTOPS H/U tournament sitting barefoot in our bar.

Barbara Enright and TT looting the 15/30 kill table. Short-handed. Lit.

Jose Canseco once again going deeper in our tournaments than any internet ringer. His girlfriend final-tabled the celebrity event, obv.

An adult male shaving our logo into his hair without any promise of compensation.

Of course, we grappled with that age old question...



or



Details to follow.

Edmond

As I’ve noted in past posts, Club One Casino has become thicket of activities that with the introduction of Bond & Girl, free karaoke, customer-focused hostesses, Red Bull-fueled MMA fighters and more EV- promotions than my partner would like, have become increasingly decadent and depraved. Three months ago, my typical day included cleaning everything, fixing computers, busing tables and ensuring basic compliance. Now I spend my daylight hours in careful negotiations with vice officers, liquor vendors and insurance agents and my evening hours, somewhat more productively, propping tequila sales in our bar and considering new ways to seduce every poker player in the Central Valley.

I’ve made repeated pleas via AIM and email for help—my liver and willpower can only take so much abuse—and I’m pleased to report that shaundeeb, Adanthar, nath and TT have responded and are enroute. I’d like to believe that it’s from “friend in need” altruism, but it’s more likely that the pile of dead money in our CVPC main event, another shot at Jose Canseco, free hotel rooms and this video taken at our own Club One Casino that’s circulated around 2+2.



Whatever the motive, I welcome the reinforcements and will have an epic report to post sometime after the hangover subsides next Tuesday or so.

Edmond

Every good cardroom should have its own tournament series, yes? Hence the First Annual Central Valley Poker Championships held Aug 3 through Aug 9. This week-long series will offer deep stacks, generous level times, relentless attention from the best player relations staff in the surrounding 200-mile area, good food, strong drink, shelter from the hot August sun and the insightful companionship of yours truly. If someone's willing to pay $2.1 million for lunch with Warren Buffet, why wouldn't you put this on the calendar? With buy-ins from $100 to $500, we're practically giving these tournaments away!

CVPC Schedule - PDF

Edmond
Club One Casino