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I arrive at Crown at 11:45am. The tournament starts at 12:30am and having failed to buy in the previous night I need to get it done this morning. I’d come in at 9pm last night hoping to buy in as during previous tournament series at Crown the registration booth had been open until 10pm. When I was informed that they had closed the booth at 7pm (and would all ‘Aussie Millions’) I resolved to make sure to wake up early enough to make it there in time to buy in without missing a hand.

When I enter the poker room a little before noon I immediately realize I’ll be missing at least a few hands. The line for the event is enormous. Naturally I run into about a dozen people I know and must exchange pleasantries with but have to quickly excuse myself so I can get to the back of the line. I get to my table a little before 12:40, having missed nearly 10 minutes because Crown is actually consistent about starting their tournaments on time. We start with 5000 in chips with 40 minute levels and 10 handed. I’m seated at table 31 which is a sort of feature table right along the rail, which means any time I fold there’s somebody I know along the rail to make small talk with. The whole table is quite relaxed and social as well, and when people bust out they often stand up and shake hands with everyone on the table and wish them luck. It is a very cordial affair, particularly for a poker tournament.


Through the early levels I play small pots of which there is very little multi street action. I don’t play my first major pot until the 75/150 level:
My stack: ~6000, HJ: ~4000, blinds 75/150, I hold AhKh UTG+2.
Preflop: 2 folds, I raise to 400, UTG+3 folds, MP1 calls, MP2 folds, the HJ who is an older guy who is apparently a British pro makes it 1200, it folds back to me and I quickly slide everything into the middle except for a single green ‘25’ chip which I tell the dealer “I’m leaving to bluff with.” The flat caller quickly folds and the HJ tanks for quite some time before folding.

I play a few small pots during the first 100/200 level and lose some chips making a couple continuation bets that don’t go my way. I don’t get involved in a major pot again until the antes have kicked in:
My stack: ~6000, Cutoff: ~6000, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante, I hold AKo UTG+1.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 600, it folds around to the CO, CO raises to 1800, folds back to me, I quickly slide my chips all in. Now the CO goes into the tank for quite a while and eventually gives a shrug and says “Call.” He tables 99 and we’re off to the races.
Flop: A J 4 rainbow
Turn: 5
River: 8
The CO stands up and says good luck to everyone then walks off. The dealer is about the slide his entire stack my way then looks at them both and decides he should count it. It winds up that the CO has 50 chips left and they shout at him to come back to the table. He busts the next hand.

Just a few hands later I’m involved again:
My stack: ~12,000, SB: ~20,000, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante, I hold A3o on the button.
Preflop: Folds to me on the button, I raise to 600, SB calls, BB calls.
Flop: 3c 8s Qs
SB checks, BB checks, and I check behind because I think one of them peels or checkraises me at too high a frequency to continuation bet here. The SB in this hand is Crown regular Marwan Nassif who is very familiar with how aggressive I am and certainly willing to call me down light.
Turn: Qd
SB checks, BB checks, and now I decide to bet for value. I count out 1100 and drop them into the pot. Marwan calls fairly quickly and the BB folds.
River: 4d
Marwan checks and I check behind knowing that most of his range is mid pairs that won’t fold to me and draws that won’t pay off a value bet. I say “two pair” and proudly table the A3 and he mucks, telling me he had AsJs.

At some point in the day Zpaceman winds up on the table a few seats on my left. He raises my BB and I playfully but viciously berate him then tell him a spite BB raise is coming his way. A few orbits later at the 150/300 level I’m on the CO when he’s in the BB and I announce preflop “Here it comes Stu” then load up 800 chips in my left hand ready to smash them into the pot. I wasn’t seriously planning on raising any two cards, but the two players between us are huge nits so I decide I’ll play around and raise pretty wide. Naturally it folds to me on the CO and when I peek down at K5o I fling my chips into the pot and tell him “Eat it Spaceman!” It folds to him in the BB and he flashes two rags and folds. I flash him a king and a smile.

I continue building my stack at the 150/300 level by taking down small and medium pots and finding a nice string of quality pre flop hands. After a couple orbits of accumulation I get involved in a large pot:
My stack: ~18,000, Marwan: ~16,000, UTG: ~5,500, UTG+2: ~12,000, BB:~9,000, blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold KcQc on the button.
Preflop: UTG limps. UTG is an older guy who is new to the table and he looks like the type that could either limp big pairs here or be way too loose and open limp too much. I’m not sure what to think of it. UTG+1 folds, and a New Zealander who seems like a mostly recreational player makes it 750 next to act. It folds around to me and I’m unsure what to think of his raise size and flat call. Marwan calls on the button, the SB folds, the BB calls, and UTG calls as well. Getting interesting here.
Flop: 7c 8d 9c
BB checks, UTG checks, UTG+2 bets 3000, I’m pretty confident he’s got an over pair at this stage so I have anywhere of 9-15 outs (and probably a small but pretty miniscule amount of fold equity) and raise to 9,000 (which in retrospect is probably not better than shoving because it’s live poker where all ins are scary and people think I could do something insane like raise/fold this flop at these stacks), then Marwan announces all in for what turns out to be 15,800, the BB folds, UTG folds, UTG+2 goes into the tank and folds, and I tell Marwan “Well, I can’t fold, let’s see if I can suck you out, call!” Marwan tables JhTh and UTG+2 said he folded aces. I’m pretty sure whoever wins this pot will be chip leader of the tournament.
Turn: 3s
The rail is crowded with people and the dealer stalls dramatically before whipping over the river card.
River: 6s
I start laughing at Marwan having to watch two black cards come down and tell him nice hand. I count out the necessary chips and slide them over to him; I have a bit under 3000 left. Shit. One hand later we go on break and everyone asks how I donked off my stack.

When we come back from break I shove 8To in mid position and everyone folds. The next hand I peek down at 22 and shove my 3950 by announcing “ARRRRRRRRRIN!” A guy with 900 chips in late position calls then an old guy in the SB with about 5000 chips flat calls. Oh God I am so dead. The BB folds and I announce “I got a pair!” then whip over my deuces. The late position player shows AK and the SB tables JJ. Zpaceman tells me he folded a 2. Just perfect.
Flop: A 5 7
Turn: 3
Everyone watching on the rail starts chanting for a four. That would be pretty sick.
River: 7
I tap the table and wish everyone luck then stroll through the poker room asking everyone I can find if they want to get food. One of the floor women comes over and asks me why I’m always so dressed up and if I even own a pair of shorts, as I have a Zegna on today. I tell her “I have a stricter dress code than the casino.” I find a few guys and we take a group of four to ‘Number 8’. Half way into dinner our group of four has turned into seven and that’s before Stevo and Chris show up. They decide to go sort money issues while we finish our dinner, which obviously kicks ass because that’s how ‘Number 8’ rolls.

After dinner a group of nearly a dozen meets up in a Crown café and discuss how we donked off our stacks, except for the few who didn’t play today. Stevo has brought a joint and we walk over to the river front (a good 20 meters or so from the Crown entrance) and fire it up. There are six or seven of us passing it around and even though we don’t get much each it’s my student’s special super weed so we’re all pretty baked. To quote Dave Chappelle “That shit is the snip snap snizzle!”

Those of us who haven’t eaten yet decide they need food so we go over to ‘Meat and Wine Co’ and we somehow get a table for 10 despite it being 9pm on a Friday night in the middle of Southbank. We have to spend 20 minutes in the bar before our table is ready and by the time we get there I’m five beers and a moderate amount of super weed into the evening, making me pretty properly ripped up. Even though I’ve already eaten I’m stoned enough to order a 200 gram steak. When it arrives Zpaceman starts giving me shit for my “pussy steak” and I start brandishing my stake knife around and threatening him with it. Meanwhile ‘Delaney Kid’ has a giant platter of ribs and steak in front of him which will clearly give him blood clotting despite his only being 19 or some young ass age like that.

After dinner the group dissipates as some go home and some get ready to head out to some kind of rave like club. I elect not to do the rave thing because they apparently suck if you don’t take pills (which I don’t) and because I’m told that it would be absolutely insane to go there in my suit. Instead Chris, Zpaceman and I go over to the cigar bar above ‘Transport’ and sit outside while I lit up a cigar. We order mojitos. I don’t think it’s a gay drink.