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Authors note: The following entry has been written while considerably inebriated. Enjoy bitches!

“Hey! Didn’t I see you over at Pearl?” I yell at the girl in the striped sweater on the table opposing us.
“Yea I saw you on the dancefloor!” she responds.
“Oh really, how’d I do? Sick moves ah?”
”You…looked like you were having fun.”
”Wow, what a polite way of saying I suck huh? You’re a real charmer.”
She laughs.
“No, if I knew you better I would have come over to ask you for a dance.”

I smile and return to the plate of Kalbi in front of me. Across the table Cade sits with his arm around Keri, laughing at me for my bluntness.

“The fuck are you laughing at Cade?” I half shout at him. He and Keri continue to laugh at me.

Prior to our ending up in the 24 hour Korean BBQ restaurant ‘Sorabol’ the three of us had attended the nightclub ‘Pearl’ at Honolulu’s largest shopping center. I’d pumped myself full of alcohol and made a pass at numerous women in between attempts at dancing with Keri, who was much too skillful for me on the dance floor. As a result I mostly stood in her proximity moving my hips awkwardly while she danced circles around me, occasionally grabbing her hand to spin her haphazardly. At some point a blonde girl molested me and my suit on the dance floor and I danced with her briefly before she brushed me off. I’m not sure why.

Now we find ourselves in the aforementioned Korean BBQ with my attempting to chat up the girl in the white and orange striped shirt on the table across from us. I doubt I’m making much sense.
“Yea well next time you see me around make sure to ask for a dance.”
She giggles and nods.

The cool and social middle aged waitress comes over and asks us what we got up to tonight. I inform her that the three of us were out clubbing.
She looks at Keri and Cade “You two are a couple yes?”
They laugh and nod
“Then where is your date Tony?” she asks me.
“She left me about a month ago” I answer with a smile and laugh.
“She think you were too perfect huh?
“Hahaha! Thanks. Yea, that was the problem. She knew I was too perfect.”
She laughs and pats me on the shoulder and walks off.

I keep rambling at Cade and Keri and at some point demand to know how long Cade thinks I could keep my hand in the large jug of ice water on the table.
“I put the over/under on about three minutes.”
“Done. Twenty then?”
”Okay, twenty.”

I stand up, rip my tan jacket off, roll up my sleeves, and cram my hand into the jug of ice water. If cold could burn, this is what it’d feel like. It burns worse than anything I can remember since getting tear gased.
“Ooooooooooh God it fucking hurts Cade! FUCK YOU!”
Cade and Keri laugh at my hysterically. After about 45 seconds I rip my hand out.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why did I agree to that!? I was never gonna come close to three minutes!”

“Ship it!” yells Cade while he and Keri laugh at me.
“Man fuck all of you.”

’Iceman’ was a nickname Celina used to call me, more insult than anything for my lack of emotions no matter the circumstances. Just after a couple of days of knowing me, without any knowledge of the history, Cade gave me the same nickname. I’m not really the most expressive guy, and I tend to cover any discomfort or thoughtfulness with insulting sarcasm.

About 20 minutes later I start pestering Cade about adjusting the line as to how long I can keep my hand in the ice water.
“Two minutes” he quotes.
“Hell fucking no. No way I can keep it in there that long. I barely lasted 30 seconds last time.”
”You lasted like 45 seconds. A minute thirty.”
:”No. Hell no. One minute Cade.”
”A minute ten.”
”Man fuck you! One minute!”
”No.”
”Come on Cade! Come on! Coooooooooooooome on!”
“No Tony.”
”COME ON CADE! I bet the guy at the other table would take this action.”
“Why don’t you ask him then?”
”Fine.” *I turn to the other table* “Hey man, you wannna bet me I can’t keep my hand in this ice water?”
He looks at me suspiciously and answers
“Nah I don’t think so.”
The girl next to him in a black dress looks at me and says
”Why are your pants pulled up so high?”
“Man…why you gotta be such a hater?” I retort.
“I’m not hating, I’m trying to do you a favor.”

I stand up and push my pants down as low as possible.
“Okay fine! Just for you! Cade, come on man, a minute and five seconds. Let’s do this shit! Ten dollars! No matter what you’ll be up ten.”
”Alright fine, ten dollars Tony.”
”Yes! Boo yah! Let’s do this shit”

I leap up again, roll up my sleeves and demand Cade get ready.
“What are you doing Tony!?” asks the approaching waitress.
”Proving a point!”
I roll up a napkin and smash my right hand into the frozen water.
The other table and the waitress proceeds to laugh hysterically at me. The ice water burns my hand horribly. I do my best to play it cool and keep cracking wise throughout the process.
About 30 seconds into the bet I roll up the napkin, yell “This is what I look like when I have sex!” and cram it into my mouth and start laughing. The restaurant is in hysterics.

Forty-five seconds later I have destroyed the mark but keep my hand in the water.
“Come on Cade, let’s see how long I can go then!”
My hand isn’t properly frozen, but I still look like an iceman. A few seconds later I pull it out and laugh at Cade.
“I coulda kept going a long time.”

After paying the bill I stand up and start walking out the restaurant. A thought occurs to me and I turn around to face the table that was next to us.
“Hey! Black dress!”
I crank up my pants as far into my abdomen as they’ll go and walk out of the restaurant bow legged.

Authors 6 hour later post note: Ow, my fucking head.