I’ve written before how I consider people in terms of ‘realness’. That is, most people have a level of legitimacy to them. Often, players in the poker world struggle with the idea of dropping out of school or quitting their job, giving up that legitimacy. I’ve got less than a year left of credits to finish my theatre degree at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I’d like to get it done eventually, if only for the sake of having finished it, since the courses aren’t hard and I’ve already put 4 years into school. However, even after I finish it I see the chances of my going out and getting a job of some kind, be it in drama or otherwise, to be less than 0%.

I’ve been talking to a lot of young players lately, and have been fairly surprised to find that most of them don’t see themselves “just playing poker forever.” I always find this fairly surprising since, to me, poker is the sweetest occupation ever. It’s the ultimate form of capitalism with the invisible hand driving you to success which nobody else gets to share in or mooch off of. I work for nobody and nobody works for me. I make plenty of money, and the harder I work the more I get back, with some interference from variance. Never will I be subject to being an undervalued employee, underpaid, or ordered around by a useless or moronic boss.

I had five jobs or six jobs back in high school before the gambling bug bit me. At first I was a peanut guy at college football games, then a subway employee, then shoe salesman, then dishwasher, then host at a restaurant. I also did some judging work for my high school forensics team my freshman year of college but that doesn’t really count as a job per say. What I learned mostly from my stints in various occupations is that I hate working for other people and having some jackass who’s having a bad day decide to take it out on his employees because he spilled coffee on himself on the way to work or whatever bullshit excuse he or she wanted to be a dick that day.

A couple of those jobs weren’t so bad. What mostly determined whether it was miserable or tolerable ended up being the people I worked with. For example, the hardest and dirtiest work was at Subway and being a dishwasher at a restaurant called Morels, but most of the time the bosses were fair and my coworkers were fun so I didn’t hate it. Meanwhile, my fairly easy work as a shoe salesman at Finish Line and host at Damon’s entirely ruined my real world work ethic and willingness to take orders. Finish Line began my disillusionment with the working world and Damons managed to destroy it completely. When I found poker and gambling right after being fired from Damons suddenly something clicked in me; If I work really hard at this I can make enough money to never have to listen to anyone else’s bullshit ever again.

Most my current contemporaries are extremely smart and naturally gifted guys. Whenever I ask one what University they go to it always ends up coming back as something very prestigious with a major like ‘math’ or ‘statistics’ or ‘advanced super human computer in your brain statistical and analytical abilities’. Stuff like that. These guys seem to get very good at poker pretty quick, often at a very young age. Meanwhile, I’ve been playing for almost five years. At the start I was fed so much misinformation from books and guys who didn’t know what they were doing that my ability as a player was basically at a standstill for years. Eventually I found 2+2 and the elitist intellectual assholes that frequent the site eventually set me straight a little at a time about what I’m doing wrong. However, I have one huge advantage over the vast majority of the wunderkinds; I work so much harder. That’s not to say that any of them are lazy or undeserving, but the thought of working a real job again is enough motivation to keep me constantly seeking ways to improve with an obsession usually seen only in religious zealots.

The dream of course, is eventually hitting it so big that thinking about this all becomes irrelevant; the previously mentioned ‘big score.’ While many of my friends have hit that big score and handled it with subtlety and class, choosing to side step the spot light I just can’t see myself doing the same. I imagine if I did something like final table a major live event for some absurd sum of money I’d end up holding a huge “Celebrate Tony Making Bill Gates Look Poor” party where I wear a dollar bill suit and top hat smoking 3 cigars at once, standing at the door shouting at everyone to congratulate me before they are allowed entry. Then I’ll spend the rest of the party sitting in a thrown being carried around by four enormous body guards while I throw silver dollars at everyone and guzzle several magnums of champagne.

In my opinion, the sweetest part about hitting it big on the live scene is the potential for selling out. Signing a sponsorship deal with a poker site ought to be the goal of every clever minded poker player, as you get paid to do what you’d be doing anyway. Unfortunately, thanks to the hypocritical, sodomite legislators down in D.C., sponsorship for most US players is, at the moment, the impossible dream. However, anti-UIGEA legislation is gaining heavy ground and the idiot God Boys of the right wing have managed to back themselves into a corner against the WTO. An excellent article from Newsweek on this issue can be read here:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20790111/site/newsweek/

The basic idea is that the US has lost in the WTO case over online gambling vs Antigua, and if they don’t comply by allowing online gaming back into the market then Antigua and numerous other countries that have faced losses can begin producing American entertainment and technology products at a fraction of the cost and legally sell them around the world. Hollywood and Silicon Valley are having a seizure at the thought of their products plummeting in value and are in the process of dispensing blood thirsty lobbyists to D.C. to hold a gun to various congressmen’s families. Good to see the system still works and that money still does truly make the world go round.

If all goes has hoped and the UIGEA is nothing but a memory within the next couple years, then the potential for sponsorship from a website for a young and upcoming US player increases enormously. People are slowly realizing that many of the established pros are either terrible at poker, terrible people, or both. That’s not to say there aren’t a few diamonds in the rough, guys with real talent who don’t explode at the misfortune of a three outer a la Phil Gordon. However, watching a few interviews from poker tournaments around the world makes it pretty clear that the majority of players tend to be either to dry or to eccentric for real marketability, though screaming and dancing every time you win a pot during the WSOP might be a good place to start.

EdmondDantes says

Another insightful, well-written post. Amazing how far one can get by working harder than others, isn't it? Add a little grey matter into the mix and sky's the limit. Hell, most people don't even show up for work or life most of the time. Sure, they're physically present, but they're rarely engaged mentally or intellectually. That holds true in poker, in the "real world" and in life generally, me thinks. Pretty much everyone could double they're income just by turning on their thought process. What more can I be doing? What mistakes am I making? What's in my power to fix or change? Starting to think like that will make a different in your productivity and resultant income and others WILL notice. Take it from a grey hair, tho. Print that diploma sooner rather than later. It only gets harder to go back as you get older.

09/29/07

Anonymous says

I'll be rooting for you to get one of these sponsorship deals. Good luck, Bond!

09/29/07

Anonymous says

Hadn't seen that article, but did know about the case. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. The article paints a pretty compelling case for the US having to comply or else. Let's all keep our fingers crossed. Good luck with the poker. I enjoy reading your blog. You are a riot!!

09/30/07

Mr_Taterhead says

That article in Newsweek is awesome.

Good Luck

09/30/07

Mr_Taterhead says

That article in Newsweek is awesome.

Good Luck

09/30/07

nit (Anonymous) says

Sit in a thrown? Four years of college. LOL!

12/10/07

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