Frank Sinatra once sung “Your nobody until somebody loves you”. At least, I think it was Sinatra, but I was way to drunk at the time to tell the difference between him and any other 1950’s crooner, and I’m still to drunk to look it up. Though Sinatra was one of Las Vegas’s most hated vicious and notorious [censored] if it really was him who sung those words, at least he got one thing right.

After busting my most recent Bellagio $2500 it came to my realization that I really needed a day off. Or two. Or three. Who cares? I needed some time off, that’s the point. With the stress of the main event coming up, a poker player should be at his best, which apparently in this case means blowing off time with friends drinking, smoking and taking drugs.

That’s how I decide to spend my Tuesday anyway, getting drunk at an inappropriate hour and agreeing to try weed for my first time then going bowling. When I arrive over at the house of such infamous pot smoking legends such as Shaundeeb and Exitonly they take me upstairs where the mighty ‘volcano’ awaits me. The contraption is more or less a humidifier turned into a contraption that fills a bag with marijuana smoke that you then hit in order to get high without having worry about the difficulties of lighters and such nonsense. Upon my first hit of the bag I inhale like a bad man striving for breath after being trapped underwater, only what a man used to smoking cigars would instinctively do, and take in so much smoke that I spend the next 15 minutes wheezing uncontrollably. The rest of the weed smoking crew only laughs at me, “get some water dude, you’ll be fine.” They are right, a bit of water, a bottle of wine, and a cigar later the wheezing has subsided and I am feeling chipper. In fact, everything is quite hilarious. Sitting on the outside porch I tell Wardekar “that’s the most wheezing I’ve done in a long time. Still beats getting tear gased.”
“Um, so you’ve been tear gased I take it?”
”HAaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!! Phhhhhhhh HAHAHAHA!!! Yeeea!! I got tear gased once! Let me hahahahahahhahaa, tell you about it. Phhhhhhh hahahahahaha!!”
“Um okay dude, what was it like, how did it happen?”
”Hahahhaha! That’s [censored] hilarious! Alright. Alright. Alright. Hahahahahaha! It was this one Halloween night in Ma….Hahahahaha! This is such a [censored] hilarious story!”
My company snickers at me and gives me a queer look, though Dekar is already way too high to enjoy a condescending moment.
“Hahahahaha. Okay, right. Hahahaha. So I’m in Madison and I’m totally wasted on Halloween. Hahahaha what a [censored] night. Right. So I’m on State Street, this long [censored] street leading up to the capitol. Phhh HAHA!...no wait stop. Okay. Right, this long [censored] street leading up to the capitol. So like every year in Madison there’s a riot on State Street from all the drunks, and I’m just sitting back and watching because I didn’t want to be involved. Then all of a sudden they flick on these like, stadium lights they have on the street and I realize I gotta get the [censored] out of here. So I start booking up towards the Capitol building to dodge the riot, but as I’m running up the street I run into this giant line of cops wearing riot gear spraying [censored] pepper spray in the face of everyone who gets to close. So I start running like hell the other way screaming ‘GET THE [censored] OUT OF HERE! GET THE [censored] OUT OF MY WAY MOTHER [censored]!!!!!’ So as I’m running down the street a massive stampede gets started and I try to hide in a shop entrance but some [censored] pushes me out of my little safe cove. So I float down the crowd into the next shop entrance and hide there with a few girls who are just watching the mayhem unravel. Suddenly I start wheezing uncontrollably and close my eyes. When I reopen them the burning is absolutely [censored] unreal, one of the worst pains I’ve ever felt my whole live. Liquid starts gushing from my eyes and I can’t breathe, and the girls next to me are on their knees praying to god to let them live through this. So I’m trying to [censored] concentrate on breathing while telling these girls they aren’t gonna die. Then some cop grabs me from the back and throws me blind into the street and steps on my heel while he does it, jamming the sharp angle of my shoe into the back of my foot while I run in darkness down the street screaming ‘I’M BLIND I’M [censored] BLIND OH GOD HELP ME I’M [censored] BLIND!!!’. Eventually I got turned off on some side street and grabbed on to people begging them to help me since I couldn’t see, and some guy got me to a friends place. Phhhhh hahahahaha [censored] Madison.”
“Hahaha, that uh, that sounds like fun Bond?”
“Obviously!”

I spend the rest of the night with an endless hankering for candy bars and a need to talk non stop and nonsensically. I also want to call everyone ‘sir’ or ‘gentleman’ and if anyone gets in my way to chastise them in a half English accent screaming something like “Damn it man! Do you know who I am? I’ll not have you stand in my away again by gods!”
I get the feeling my company is annoyed with my constant rambling and attitude, but I am winning so much money in bowling that nobody bothers to register complaint. I manage to talk some of said company into Korean BBQ and pass out around 6am, not bothering to even consider waking up for the next days tournament.

I slowly come to consciousness the next day somewhere in the afternoon. I wince open my eyes, and finding Rich C. on the couch watching TV ask him what time it is.
”About 6pm” he responds.
Excellent, afternoon well spent in my book. I guess I’ll go see how Watts and Stevepa are doing in the Bellagio $5000 event, perhaps drink or smoke cigars in the process and waste my evening away.

I show up to the Bellagio looking the most casual anyone’s ever seen me, in jeans and a nice button up shirt, a perplexing image to those used to a suit and tucked in shirt. I find watts immediately, and upon realizing he has a short stack immediately begin with a barrage of insults:
”Damn it Watts! Good god man, where are your [censored] chips?”
Watts table seems fairly annoyed with my showing up and sputtering profanities for more or less no reason.
“I’m card dead Bond, nothings going on.”
”For [censored] sake, get some [censored] chips.”
Apparently on days off, every phrase requires the use of the F word. I tell Watts I’ll be outside rolling dice and putting TJ Cloutier to shame.

Lo and behold outside is the legendary roller himself, TJ Cloutier. I find the lowest limit table and secretly wish he’ll come over and witness me go on an incredible run so he can call me a ‘natural born shooter.’ Unfortunately TJ stays at the next table over while the shooter at mine rolls ridiculously hot and the young poker players at the table scream at TJ “Hey TJ BABY!!! Wish you were here!!! HAHAHA!!!”

After a hot dice session I stroll back towards the poker room up $250 and numerous free cigars, which upon the cocktail waitress asking which type I’d prefer I respond only with “surprise me woman.” As I’m about to enter the room I run into Watts exiting after having busto’d.
”Watts, you busto I take it? What’s the plan for the evening? It’s 4th of July after all, we have to do something special.”
“Does getting drunk and doing more or less nothing count as special?”
”Obviously.”

We sit at the Bellagio Fontana lounge bar and capitalize on the free drinks video poker affords us, getting increasingly wasted with no real plan for the evening. Eventually Stevepa rolls out on dinner break and we sneak into the Bellagio buffet with him. Steve has amassed a huge amount of chips from destroying a very tilted Roland De Wolfe who makes habitual awful plays pre flop (That’s right Roland, if your reading this, you play awful. Haha!)

Watts and I decide to hit the trip with no real plan other than to drink heavily and waste time. While approaching Margarita Ville on the Strip two girls walk in front of us, turn around and pronounce
”Hey, you two are dressed pretty much the same.”
Hmm, I immediately see an opportunity to help Watts get laid, which would obviously score me ‘living vicariously through friends’ points. I’m not sure what their good for in terms of ability to be redeemed, but they sound important. I look over at Watts, who is dressed barely similar at all.
“What the [censored] are you talking about, we’re barely alike.”
”Well I think so” says one of the girls.
“Well I think your just bringing random things up as an excuse to talk us.”
“Maybe we are.”
”Maybe you are.” Quips Watts.
“What’s your names?” They ask. And now comes the precarious part. I have absolutely zero interest in any woman outside my girlfriend, but If I immediately tell these two girlfriends to ‘[censored] off, I have a girl already’ I absolutely destroy Watts chances. Time to walk the thin line between being a good friend and a good boyfriend.

I spend the time at Margarita ville explaining to the girls how Watts is “easily one of the best poker players in the world. Ranked in the top 25 online. By far one of the best.” I tell them Watts has “lost near $100,000 in one night, and damnit he barely blinked an eye. Watts is 10 times the man I’ll ever be.” In these situations its best to talk up your friend as much as possible while making yourself look worse, so I tell the women I’m just some ‘gay theatre major, who loves the penis’ on repeated occasions and that ‘Watts is the real man of this duo, but not in that way.’ By the end it is abundantly clear that one of them (god knows their names) likes Watts and that the other will require a subbed in wingman for future drunken adventures. I tell Watts when he calls them to tell them I have become horribly sick and bring somebody from 2p2 instead.

We go back to the Bellagio and find Steve just rapping up the action, and decide on a night in the hot tub at Watts place. When I arrive at their condo I inform my girlfriend via instant messenger that I more or less chatted up two girls on my friend’s behalf tonight. She is less than pleased by the situation. On the one hand I think she’s being over protective and paranoid. On the other, her booze swilling, slick talking boyfriend is alone with a bunch of trouble causing guys in Vegas and has been away for 5 weeks, what kind of woman would she be if she wasn’t a little worried? I manage to calm her down and let her know that she’s got nothing to worry about no matter how many women I talk to in bars, that she’s the only I’m interested.

Some friend of mine back in Melbourne once told me “When you’re away from your partner, you really begin to understand how you feel about them.” In his case, it resulted with his hooking up with some random Canadian woman 2 years his elder and leaving his wife of 14 years, but I think he meant the advice to go either way. When I left my girlfriend 5 weeks ago I was somewhat enjoying the thought of a little time away from her protective presence. Five weeks later I am wishing I just had someone to fall asleep next to and tell me I do not in fact suck at poker without secretly suspecting their just trying to be nice. For all the drunken trysts my boyhood idol James Bond had, people forget the movie where George Lazenby got married to the right girl who was therein murdered by a raging Telly Savalas as Blofeld, setting up Bond for a lifetime of revenge and emotionless sex which even he, at a moment of self reflection (say on the beach in Goldeneye) is capable of realizing has its hollowness. Lucky for me Telly Savalas is way dead and I’m not married. Were this a real conversation and not a blog the alcohol would have me quip something like “Being married or being dead, sounds about even huh?” All jager induced quips aside, if I spent a long time settled with the right woman and working hard at the game, without going out and raising hell on booze or without chatting up random women, I think it’d likely be time well spent.

When I wake up at 4pm in the afternoon I dress quickly and stumble out to the Bellagio to watch Stevepa at this final table. More and more 2p2’ers show up through the afternoon and evening, and by the time we go to dinner there’s about twenty of us. We hit the bars hard through the afternoon and dinner, then waltz down the strip towards the Imperial Palace, where a Karaoke dive bar awaits. I somehow get it in my alcohol soaked brain that I absolutely must get Scott (aka Mastr on 2p2) married tonight and somehow wind up In a conversation with two New York girls offering them money to marry Scott that night. After bantering with them a good 20 minutes one turns to me and says
”I have a very serious question for you. What’s my name? I gave it to you before.”
”How the [censored] should I know? I’m not the one trying to marry you here, it’s Scott that should know. Okay, so what’s your name?”
”Tresa.”
”Teresa?” I ask.
“No, its Tresa, like Teresa without the E in the middle.”
“So its Teres then huh? Scott, this is future wife, Teres.”
Scott looks at me discouragingly “Bond, did you even listen to this girl at all?”
”She seems nice right? You should marry her. Totally, you two, I see a future, a beautiful marriage and then immediate annulment which I shall pay for. Come on, [censored] do it.”
”NO. Bond, did you even listen to her?”
“What’s the problem? Her name is Teres. Without the ‘a’ at the end, right?”
She looks at me annoyed. “No, It’s Tresa. Like ‘tree’ then ‘sa’ at the end.”
I stare silently at her a moment allowing this monstrosity of a name to sink in. I look her straight in the eyes and pronounce “Lady, that’s the worst [censored] name I’ve ever heard.”
Scott can’t control his laughter, he nearly falls over. Tresa handles it amazingly well, breaking into laughter and saying “I know, I’ve thought so my whole life.”
”Well good your at least realistic about it.”
The DJ announces ‘Blude Suede Shoes’ for ‘Bond’. Yep, I’ve been drinking enough that I actually wrote ‘Bond’ on the Karaoke request card.
“Hold that thought! I’ve got singing to do!”

I sprint up to the stage and grab the microphone. I am at least two jagerbombs in to do this song competently but that hardly matters when the entire crowd is drunk and you can do a mediocre Elvis impression. I throw myself into the song with the fervor and enthusiasm that only a highly inebriated man is capable of. The DJ jams Elvis glasses and a ridiculous hat onto my face while I throw the microphone stand back and forth while screaming “NOW DON’T YOU!!!! STEEEEEEEEEEP ON MY BLUE SUEDE SHOES!!!!!!!” The entire front row is decked in 2p2’ers laughing at me and taking pictures, which are sure to show up on the forum within 24 hours. Mid way through the song during a guitar break the DJ leans over and asks me to please stop swearing so loudly while on stage. When the song ends I throw him the hat and announce into the microphone “I’m keeping the glasses fcuker” and sprint off the stage towards the bar. I eventually play nice and return them to him.

While awaiting the next song I continue to pressure “Tresa” into marrying Scott but she doesn’t seem interested. Eventually Jurollo comes over and hits it off much better with the two of them, so I inform them at “Jurollo is by far the more charming and rich man, who wouldn’t want to marry him? Come on Tresa, I am offering to pay for the marriage and divorce here, I know Jurrollo is willing.” I demand Tresa gives Jurollo her number so later this week we can get wasted and set up a marriage slash annulment. And that’s just about the time ‘Journey’ comes on from the DJ.

Half of MTTc rushes to the stage to scream out the song, swaying back and forth and more shouting the song than actually singing it. Various people from the crowd join us at random, seeing as they can’t go wrong in a group with so much enthusiasm. To say it was by far the best Karaoke rendition of ‘Journey’ of all time is a gross understatement, you really had to be there to appreciate it (*cough* sucks to be you Clayton *cough*) We’ll only find out who was actually on that stage when the pictures show up, but as far as I can remember, it was a lot.

The night finishes with running hot at Craps and Korean BBQ, and my sitting alone in a hotel room still half drunk, writing a trip report for a poker site with zero content, wishing I had the someone who loved me around to witness my antics over the past few days. Oh well, maybe some good will come of it, and I’ll arrange the first officially 2p2 sanctioned marriage in history.

When you’re going to bed at 6am planning to play a 2pm tournament you know your not getting enough sleep, you so you anticipate not having your full focus the next day. Not that I regret any of tonight whatsoever, seeing as we had a victory party for Mlagoo then hit up the Korean BBQ place at 5:30am afterwards. It’s the kind of night you’ll always remember, witnessing a person on, for what is probably up to that point, the very best night of their life. When I hit the bed I’m praying I won’t wake up feeling to exhausted to play, as that will no doubt totally [censored] my schedule.
I come to 5 minutes before my wake up call at 1:40pm, continuing my body’s weird trend of knowing a few minutes before the call despite the call time often changing. I’m actually feeling not to bad, so I get dressed, change some money at the desk, and head to the Bellagio, get registered, and seated about 90 seconds late. I order a red bull to really wake my body up and get myself ready for another run.
For the first couple rounds I pick up small and medium pots by hitting flops. I was hitting quite well, but I also realized with live I NEED TO SLOW PLAY MORE. Because I am so used to online I end up fast playing way too much with big hands, and live players are making to many folds for this to be profitable. One annoying part of live, is that in many situations, playing worse (more obvious) is in fact the best play. A few rounds into the tournament Iweargoggles is moved to my table, or as he says it “it’s destiny.” We joke back and forth about how we’re going to slow roll each other, a round or so after which the following hand develops:
25/50 blinds, 9 handed. Both of us have somewhere around 5 to 6k. I am in MP2 with QhJd.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 150, folds to goggles on button, goggles calls, blinds fold.
Flop: Q T 4
I bet 225, goggles calls.
Turn: 6
I check, goggles bets 450, and I briefly think about it and call.
River: T
I check, goggles bets 1125. I think it over a bit. The river is not a great card for me, but I can see a few things that missed the river, plus he’s a cash player who has plenty of practice floating people. In the end, my thought process goes something like “its goggles, he’s pulling some [censored]” and call. “You must win” he says and I flip up my QJ to take the pot.

After that hand our table is broken up and I show up to my new table with a comfy 8k. Seated 2 on my left is Shannon Elizabeth, hidden by her hat and glasses. I say hello to the table and upon picking up some hands start raising frequently as well as 3 betting, as I find quality hands in the blinds vs LP raises. None of my big hands get a lot of action, but I am steadily growing my stack. At one point I stack a short stack with 88 that holds up over his 44 and climb to around 9-10k.

The table is moderately chatty, as is Shannon, and I regale the table with the story of how I saw Shannon play in the hand where two guys tried to out retard each other with their god awful folds. The table seems entertained, as does Shannon, who seems as nice as she did last time. A hand comes up at 50/100. I have around 9.5k, Shannon has 1675.
I hold AQo UTG+1 and have an aggressive image. Shannon is in MP1.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 300, UTG+2 folds, Shannon moves all in for 1675, folds back to me, I call. Shannon flips up As5s.

Flop: 9 7 2
Turn: K
River 5

When the 5 hits I don’t react. I very quietly and jokingly say something like “D’oh, oh well.” Then stack up my chips and ship them to her. “I was getting so short, I had to make a move ya know.” I shrug a little, and politely respond “no worries. I’ve got plenty left. I’ll just stay away from you, I can’t afford to get beat up by women, this isn’t high school anymore.” My side of the table laughs, and life goes on.

At one point during my rampage on the table Shannon makes a 3 bet on a guy and I remark that she’s stealing my move. “I’m just trying to learn from the best” she quips.
“What makes you think I’m any good?”
”Well you certainly look professional in the suit and all.”
”No, no, that’s just an illusion. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m a young stockbroker who’s clueless and lives in his work clothes.”
“Sure you are.”

After the hit of her 3 outer and losing a couple other small pots my stack has slipped to around 6.5k when the following hand came up:

I hold AQo In the SB with a total of 6700. The CO in question is a middle aged guy who I have 3 bet a couple times already, both times with good hands. He has about 7.5k. Blinds 100/200.

Preflop: Folds to CO, CO raises to 600, button folds, I raise to 2000, BB folds. CO thinks things over for a while, and he doesn’t seem very strong. He also seems pretty sick with my pushing him around, and talks himself into a call. Blegh, OOP with a pot sized bet left, this is not a good situation.

Flop: 9c 7c 7s
It seems to me at this point I’m fairly stuck. Since live players take all in bets very serious, and I’m praying he doesn’t have a pair or perhaps talks himself into thinking I’ve got a bigger one, I shove my remaining 4700, a slightly over pot bet. The CO calls almost instantly. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, I am so screwed. CO flips up his cards, Kc Jc. Weeeee, all ahead with the worst hand.
Turn: 6s
River: 5h
Jesus [censored] Christ, how did I dodge all that? I now have a pretty large 13kish stack.

I continue my aggressive play and build my stack to about 14k when the following hand comes up between Shannon and I:
Hero: ~14k
Shannon: ~7k
Blinds 100/200, but the SB is dead so only one BB. Hero holds Ah 8h on the HJ.

Preflop: Folds to hero, hero raises to 500, CO folds, Shannon considers her options then calls. I say “wait, your trying to learn from me and your just flat calling?”
”Mmmhmm” she responds, while nodding.
”Then you haven’t learned shiit.” The table laughs again, this hand should be friendly.
The BB also calls.
Flop: Kh 8s 6h
BB checks, I lead out 1300 hoping to get a large pot going as I’m very happy to get it in at this point. Shannon considers her options and calls. The BB folds.
Turn: Jc
Blegh. Shannon looks to have about ~5k left. The pot is 4100. Checking seems like a give up, and I certainly can’t bet fold. Since it’s live I want to maximize my fold equity by betting large, and if I can ever get her to fold a mid pair or a KT/KQ type hand here I gain huge. Even if she calls I’ve normally got 14 outs. I grab my stack of yellows and lead out 4500. Shannon instantly announces all in, to which I respond “I obviously call, but your ahead.” She flips up KJo, and I flip up my Ah8h for a 14 out draw.
River: 9h
Shannon EXPLODES. “GOD DAMN IT! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS [censored] BULL [censored]! EVERY [censored] TIME I RUN SO BAD!!! UNREAL, ABSOLUTELY UNBELEIVEABLE!!! THAT’S JUST [censored] REDICULOUS, ALWAYS SOME AWFUL PLAY THAT GETS ME, I RUN SO [censored] BAD!!!”
I am staring up at her in shocked silence, how can she be so mad? I had a massive draw and its only one random ass daily $1500 tournament at the Bellagio? We were getting along just fine and now she goes off on me like that? WTF mate? The entire table bursts into laughter as she storms off after seeing her tirade. “Well, I guess she owed me one right?” I quip. Seat 7 responds with “Well kid, you certainly just blew your chance at dating her.” Somehow, I think I’ll live knowing that.

The next 60-90 minutes of the tournament are kind of a blur. Why? Because Shannon Elizabeth decided to make this hand into a massive Bellagio poker room drama bomb. About 5 to 10 minutes after the hand Cardplayer reporter Julio Rodriguez comes up to me and asks exactly what happened in the hand. I relay to him the precise details as they happened.
“Oh really?” he says. “She thinks you just hit a 9 outer, that you moved in with just a flush draw.”
”No, I had a pair and a flush draw, any A/8 or heart. Ask the table, I have a whole bunch of witnesses right here.” The table jokes that their going to go along with her story, but both guys on my immediate left and right confirm that it went down exactly as I said.
“Oh, I’ll go tell her that then” and Julio walks off.

During this period Shannon is standing on the steps leading up to the table where the previous days final table is being held, as she has a friend who’s still in. I see her talking to a lot of people, seemingly quite animated. About 20 minutes later Julio comes back over to me.
“Uh yea man, she’s over there and has told like 15 people that you sucked her out big time.”
“Wait, you told her about there being a pair and flush draw?”
”Yea, she says that’s not how it happened. She won’t believe me or anyone else, she says you just had a flush draw.”
”What the [censored] dude?! She’s over there gossiping and lying about my play and telling people I play like [censored]? What is this, middle school? Besides, she sucked out on me way worse first.”
”Yea man, I don’t know, I told her friend that it didn’t go down like Shannon said. The friend says ‘yea I know, just don’t tell her that right now. She’s really mad.’
“Look, I don’t care if people want to call me a bad player for some hand I played, whatever, that’s fine. But I am not [censored] down with somebody out there spreading lies about the way I play just so they can have their bitch fest. Look, if your around next time we’re both in the same room, I’ll grab you so you can report when I go up and ask her what she’s trying to pull.”

So that’s my plan. I’m gonna ask Shannon what the hell she’s thinking spreading lies. I’ll start off polite though seemingly agitated, and if she keeps up her [censored], I am not averse (read: above) to creating a mild scene and childish name calling. If she apologies or admits she was in the wrong, then I’ll tell her no worries and move on.
A: It will make for a hilarious story I’ll have the rest of my life.
B: Since Julio will report it for me, any publicity is good publicity.
C: I know I am right.
Do I really care all that much what Shannon Elizabeth and her douche bag Bellagio friends think of my play? No, not really that much. However, I do believe in the principal of the thing, that you shouldn’t just run about slandering people with zero consequences cause you feel [censored] about something. Besides, I know I’m in the right here, and wasn’t like the 9th commandment something like “Thou shalt not allow C rate movie stars who are only famous for getting naked in a teen comedy to slander thy name?” Probably, I don’t know, I haven’t been to church in a while.

Anyway, so the tournament goes on, and when her friend is knocked out she leaves and things settle down. At this point I now have a massive stack of 21k which is probably enough, or certainly close, to the chip lead. Things go pretty smooth for a while, mostly because I go totally card dead and just fold a lot. The blinds go up to 200/400 with 50 ante, I lose a few k raising pre, c betting, and then having to shut down when I miss.

At 200/400 with 50 ante a hand develops between myself and a loose/bad/stationish player and I:
I hold Ad5d in MP2 9 handed.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 1100, folds to button, button calls, blinds fold.
Flop: 9s 7s 7h
I bet 1600, button considers, then calls.
Turn: Ah
I think briefly, then check. Button pulls out his yellows, counts them out, stacks them up, thinks things over, then bets 4000. I call.
River: Kc
I check, button checks, and A5 is very good. My stack is now in the mid 20 k’s.

A round later a dark haired guy who looks to be about 25-30 is moved to the table. I’ve never seen him before, just looks like a standard live guy to me. One of his first hands at the table he is UTG, and the following hand develops:
UTG: ~15k
Hero: ~23k
CO: ~12k
BB: ~10k
Hero holds Kc 8s in the SB. Blinds 200/400 with 50 ante.

Preflop: UTG limps, folds to CO (fishy/weak/station), I complete with K8o (prolly not online, but with live stations, I think its okay. Perhaps you all think fold?), BB checks.
Flop: Ks 6s 7h
I bet 1000, BB folds, UTG considers and calls, CO folds.
Turn: Jc
I bet 2200, UTG calls.
River: Qh
I check. UTG thinks things over, counts his chips, and bets 3800. Argh, this situation sucks. I have no idea about UTG. Did he limp a hand like 54 or 89 suited and whiff? What about a flush draw? Lots of live players like to limp and station weak suited aces, could he be bluffing here? I make what I think is probably a pretty bad call vs a live player considering they don’t bluff. UTG flips up KQo and pwns me. I got taken to value town hardcore. I’m now down to roughly ~16k.

For about an hour very little of interest happens and my stack floats around in the mid teens area. I find out after that hand that the player who beat me with the KQ is online player ‘Varico’, who I have played quite a lot with online. He plays pretty well live overall, quite aggressive, though sometimes a little loose/sloppy. Nice guy as well.

At 300/600 with 50 ante the following hand develops between me and the SB. The SB is a middle aged guy who is way to loose/passive and clearly a recreational player:
I hold Qd Td on the HJ with a ~15k stack. SB also has like ~15k.

Preflop: Folds to hero, hero raises to 1700, folds to SB. SB attempts to complete to 600. I tell him I’ve raised. He honestly was out of it watching TV and had no idea. The floor is called over and they quickly verify that the 600 must stay in, and he can either call for 1100 or fold. He thinks things over for a while, not really thrilled with his hand. “It must be an omen” he says, and calls. The BB folds.
Flop: 5 5 8 rainbow
The SB donks out 3000. I decide he would absolutely never play a 5 this way, and that he can’t call with an 8 cause he’s a live nit, so I move all in. He takes only a few seconds to think before declaring “I can’t call” and folding while flashing me an 8.

At 27 players left the tables get rearranged and I am seated in seat 1 of the same player, with Varico 3 on my right. The blinds go up to 400/800 with a 75 ante. I also make friends with the new guy on my left, ‘Dan’ and hit it off enough that we decide to hit up the buffet together. With about 25 players left a hand develops between Varico, Dan, and I:
Varico: ~50k
Me: ~23k
Dan: ~22k
I am UTG+2 9 handed with 4h4d, the table is playing tight.

Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 2400, Dan calls behind, folds to Varico in SB, Varico looks like he’s going to fold, but then seems to sort of talk himself into a call. He calls, BB folds.

Flop: 9h 6d 3h
Varico Checks. Well, I’m pretty sure Dan is going to play me honest and not get fancy here, and I think Varico’s range is pretty wide. If I C bet here I should get a lot of respect and I can also pretty easily shut down. I decide to fire 4200. Dan folds. Varico asks how much I have, then moves all in. I’m pretty sure he’s on a draw, but even if he is, it’s a 15 outer at worst. If I’m wrong about him having a draw, I’m totally crushed. I fold, and Varico shows me Th7h for a massive draw that’s way the best hand.

We begin getting closer and closer to the bubble. With about 22 players left the following hand develops:
Me: ~18k
MP1: ~10k
I hold Q Q UTG 9 handed.
Preflop: I raise to 2400, folds to MP1, MP1 shoves, folds back to me, I call. He shows JJ
Flop: J X X
Turn: X
River: X
Crap, I am now down to about 8k. I begin restealing, especially off the highly aggressive Varico, and get my stack back into the teens without a showdown jamming hands like JTo, K5o, A4o.

We hit the dinner break with 20 players left. I go to dinner with a group of 7 people, Dan, his wife, and a bunch of guys I met, all pretty well known online players who were very nice guys and smart players.

When we get back from the break we drop the 20th player and am now at 19. Dan gets moved, so now the guy on my left is a young guy who I’m making friendly conversation with. He’s pretty young looking, roughly my age, and seems to play smart/aggressive. The topic of the WSOP comes up and we talk about how bad we crush the bubble there, and I tell him about some of the crazy folds people gave me in the last $1500 event. The first hand into the bubble we are 6 handed at my table and I peer down at TT UTG. I’ve got a pretty aggressive image after all my restealing, and my stack is about 16k now. The following hand develops:
Me: 16k
UTG+1: 13k, blinds 400/800 with 50 ante.
Preflop: I raise to 2400. UTG+1 considers his options then takes his 10k stack of yellows and slides them into the middle. It folds back to me and I consider everything. Hmm, we just had a conversation about how easy it is to crush bubbles. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything? He seems like a pretty smart aggro guy, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care about bubbling. Plus we’re only 6 handed. I decide to move in and he obviously calls. He flips up AJ and we’re off to the races:
Flop A 3 A
D’ooooooooooh!
Turn: J
There went my outs.
River: X
I am now crippled sitting a little over 3k having to pay a 800 BB and 75 ante. I tell the table “go ahead boys, just try to steal this BB.”

We deal the next hand and I look down at ATo, fully expecting to call anyone’s raise. Surprisingly, it folds around to me. Boo yah! The next hand I post the small and it folds to me again. I peer down at KK and move in. The BB goes into the tank, tells me its 50/50, and folds, flipping up Q7o, the ‘computer hand’. I show my KK and we all have a laugh. The next hand it folds to me on the button with K8o and I jam. SB quickly folds and the BB now tanks. The BB goes “well, if he can’t do it, neither can I” and folds, flipping up his Q7o. The next hand Varico is UTG and min raises to 1600. It folds to me, now having ~8k, and I peek down at KK. I jam, it folds back to Varico and he calls with 99. The KK holds and I am suddenly very much back in the ball game with over 16k.

A couple hands later the bubble bursts and I am ITM for 3 of my last 3. Bottom money is only $2100ish, with first being over $100k, so it’s definitely worth playing very aggressive at this point to get some chips. The tables are consolidated and the blinds go up to 600/1200 with a 100 ante.

At my new table I sit tight for a while and blind/ante off some chips, though raise AQ and take the blinds once. I have a pretty tight image when the following hand comes up:
Hero: 15k
Button: 35k, blinds are 600/1200. Button is roughly 35, somewhat aggressive.

Preflop: Folds to button, button raises to 3500, SB folds, I shove, and button calls. Button flips up 99 and we’re off to the races.
Flop: A K 8
One time dealer one time.
Turn: 9
D’oooooooh! Ten?
River: Q

Oh well, I bust 18th and shake everyone’s hand, wishing all the players luck. Everyone at the table seemed very nice, and I’d been to dinner with four of them. So GL to all those guys and I’ll see everyone again at the Bellagio tomorrow for the $2500.

If there’s one event I really don’t care to play during my stay in Vegas for the summer, it’s a $1500 buy in WSOP event. The fields are absurdly huge which a bitch for numerous reasons. The buy in is the lowest and least interesting of all the tournaments. The early structure more or less sucks (60 BB starting stack) so while your surrounded by absolutely god awful players you don’t really have a lot of room to maneuver with them like you could at say, the Venetian. Either way, I am under strict Timex orders to play all NL/PL holdem events at the WSOP and he’s got a point, the fields are about as much sick +EV as probably any tournament in the world.

Yet again the night previous to the event I have difficulty sleeping. I decided not to take a melatonin as I had only allowed myself about an 8 hour slot of time to sleep and was worried that if I stayed up a bit past that the melatonin may not have fully worn off. BIG mistake. I lied around in bed for a couple hours and read 2p2 until almost 6am, my brain totally incapable of switching to off mode for as far as I can tell, no real reason.

When I jolt awake at 11:40am I’m actually feeling not bad for such little sleep, plus I have the advantage that my table is almost practically right downstairs, as they have set a bunch of extra tables out in the hall in front of Buzios seafood restaurant because of the massive fields for these tournaments. My table appears to be all recreational players and a couple wanna-be pros, with more or less no legitimate threats.

At this point the first couple hours are kind of a blur to me and I don’t think anything interesting happened. I know I moved all in after a guy made a 4X raise and there were two or 3 callers holding AK and everyone folded at 50/100. By the first break I am sitting with 5.5k and get moved tables shortly afterwards.

At my new table I witness one of the most hilarious mind boggling hands of the WSOP so far. The action goes down as follows at 100/200 blinds.

Preflop: UTG limps, UTG+1 (wearing MJ cap, I shall call him MJ from now on) calls for 200, UTG+2 (Euro pro Chris Bigler) calls, I call with KQo, folds to SB who completes, BB checks.

Flop: 7h 5h 4d
SB checks, BB bets 650, UTG folds, MJ calls, Bigler calls, I fold.
Turn: 7c
BB checks, MJ checks, Bigler bets 1500, BB folds, MJ considers things then calls.
River: Td
MJ checks, Bigler moves all in for 1900. Now MJ tanks forever. He looks at his cards. Counts his chips (he has like, 1800 I think?) looks like he’s gonna fold, tanks some more, looks back at his chips. Then he puts his hands on his face and sits there for a while. Finally he seems to mentally talk himself into it and puts his chips in, apparently expecting the worse. Bigler says “your way good, I missed my flush draw” and flips up Jh 8h. MJ TURNS OVER POCKET FOURS FOR A FULL [censored] HOUSE. Biglers jaw hits the floor and politely asks “Um, what were you thinking about?” to which MJ replies “Oh man, I thought you had a bigger boat.” Note to self, bluff MJ.

For a while everything with this strategy goes great. MJ would limp, I’d raise, and he’d either fold or check fold the flop. At one point I get a chance to really stack him in a hand that goes as follows:

Blinds 100/200 25 ante, I have about 9k UTG+2 9 handed with 9d 8d. I raise to 550 as NOBODY is fighting my raises. Folds to MJ’s BB who calls.
Flop: Qd Jd Tc
MJ bets out 1000 with about 4-5k behind. I can’t believe he actually bet into me, he must have a HUGE hand. Conversely, I know he’s terrified of all in’s, so I’ll do the obvious thing. I raise to 3000. MJ quickly calls leaving himself about ~2k behind.
Turn: Kd
Meh, not a great card in terms of getting action, and MJ looks noticeably pissed about it. MJ checks, I put him in for his last 2k, and he deliberates and folds.

At my high point I have 12 or 13k. Then things start going wrong. I call a short stacks 4 or 5 BB shove in the BB with 65hh getting 2 to 1 and he has A4 and holds. I raise pre and the one smart player on the table happens to be on my left and starts shooting back. He begins 3 betting me pre or calling and CR’ing a lot of flops, so I have to slow down a bit. Then I play another interesting hand vs MJ:

MJ limps for 200 utg. He has about ~3k in his stack. It folds to me and I raise to 800 with AsQd. It folds back to MJ who calls, leaving 1900 behind.

Flop: 9c 3c 2c
MJ checks. Blegh, he might even just call off if he has a club in his hand, plus I’m pretty sure if I check behind and he checks turn again, I can push him off with an all in bet (which is about pot anyway.) I check the flop.
Turn: 7s
MJ checks. Okay, I think he’s missed his stupid hand. I’ll easily knock him out with an all in here. I put 2500 in the pot, he’s got 1900. MJ thinks for about 5-10 seconds, and puts his chips in the pot. Shiiiiat, top set? Flush? Limped AA? MJ flips up………..55 no club. WHAT THE [censored] I DON’T UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE!!! You debate folding a boat but call off your stack with 55? I’m not even saying his call was per say ‘bad’ but for HIM it sure as [censored] was.
River: Kd
I don’t understand live players. They nit it up and nit it up and nit it up and secretly pray to god each night that he’ll grant them the strength to fold QQ pre flop when somebody moves in pre for 10 BB’s cause they must have AA/KK then SUDDENLY decide to make hero calls. I just don’t get it.

My stack gets back down to around ~5000 after this little fiasco and a few other lost small pots when the following hand comes up:

I hold AA on the HJ. BB is a Euro player who, through the way he talks, blatantly lets people he finds himself quite the card shark, but in reality isn’t very good. Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante.

Preflop: Folds to hero, I raise to 800, folds to BB who makes it like 2600, and I decide since its live and all in is so sick scary and people actually [censored] fold getting 3 to 1 or better I might as well just call and let him put me in on the flop.
Flop: As Ad 2s
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIAT, how the [censored] do I get value out of this? BB leads out 800. LOL, bet1/5thpotaments. This situation is so absolutely retarded, I mean, if I shove, he’ll actually fold basically everything. Even if I call its incredibly obvious what I have. I guess I should call and let him try to bluff me? I elect to call, leaving behind like 1400 or something.
Turn: 6s
Check/check.
River: Kh
BB moves all in, I call and say “I got quads.” BB instantly looks furious, repeating “I knew it, god damn it I knew it! I had KK! Such an awful river card! Such [censored]!” LOL, just, ya know, in general.

A little while after this hand we finally get moved into the main Amazon room. This sucks because I pretty much hate the insanely crowded, full of moron railbirds masturbating to the sight of Humberto Brenes, freezing cold, filthy felt, piece of [censored] in general Amazon room.

I am seated two on the right of an old guy wearing a tweed jacket, he looks about 65 or 70. I probably have like 10k at this point, and through various things going wrong a little at a time, that slips down to about 6k. We’ve got a good dealer (Jeffrey) on this table who’s efficient and polite, but the card dead old man (your always card dead when only QQ+ are playable people) decides to register complaint.

Old man: Dealer, you don’t wash the cards good enough! You have to give them the big wash!
Jeffrey: Sir, I’m just doing as the instruct me. I give them a small wash every hand as well as shuffles. It keeps the game moving better.
Old man: You don’t do it big enough! Make it a big wash!
I [censored] hate annoying nits who whine at dealers because they suck at poker/life. I decide to get involved.
Bond: Jeffrey I love the way you deal and wash the cards man! [I turn directly to old man with a big smile on my face] A quick dealer who gets the cards out fast keeps the game going well, and we get more hands in, pretty great no? [I turn back to dealer] Great work there Jeffrey!

The old man glares at me in annoyance, I nod at Jeffrey, he nods back, concealing a smile. For the next half hour the old man would seem agitated with me in general, especially if I raised.

Around this time, with blinds 200/400 50 ante and my stack at about 5000 from folding a lot, the following hand comes up:
I hold TT in the BB.

Preflop: Folds to MP2, MP2 calls 400. HJ raises to 1600. Folds to hero in BB who shoves. MP2 folds, HJ calls and turns over 66.
Board: No 6, boo yah! I double up to around 12k.

A round or two after this we move up to 300/600 with 75 ante putting me at about 20 BB’s. We get a new dealer, a very old and slow guy named Donald who seems more or less totally out of it. Hmm, agitated old man player + out of it old man dealer = impending disaster. A round later, the following situation develops:

Preflop: UTG limps in for 600, folds to agitated old man with 10k who waves his hands in the air a few times and mumbles all in. His cards are sitting in front of his stack. Donald sees the old man waving his hands and his cards in front of his stack and grabs the cards, placing them in the muck.
Old man: “HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”
Donald: “What? What’s wrong?”
Bond: “Uh, he declared all in, you put his cards in the muck.”
Old man: “Give me my cards back!!!”

The cards are in the muck, touching other cards, but not completely mixed in. Donald pulls out what are very clearly the old mans two cards and we call over the floor. I am so curious how this one will turn out. The floor attempts to sort out the situation and what’s happened. The dealer is a bit to bewildered, and the old man to emotionally invested, so I try to break it down for him. He say’s to me and the guy on my right very directly “I need to know if you heard all in.”
”Absolutely, he definitely said it.” I respond. The floor man decides to have the old man whisper his exact two cards into his ear, and if they are the one’s that have been removed from the muck. The table agrees this is far. The old man whispers to him the exact cards, and since it is a dealer error his cards are restored to him. It folds around to UTG, who also folds.

TO BE CONTINUED (Going to dinner at Bellagio buffet with Wardekar/Dawgz)

It’s Wednesday or Thursday and I’m heading out to the Bellagio for the 2pm 5k event. I say ‘Wednesday or Thursday’ because in Vegas knowing the day is pretty much useless and irrelevant. On this particular day, whichever it is, I’ll be trying my luck at the Bellagio for the second time. If the Bellagio’s series of tournaments for the summer can be faulted for one thing, it’s that their probably running too many 5k events, which people probably don’t have the money to pony up for THAT consistently, so we’re getting some very short fields.

Today’s field would only get around ~50 players, which I would say breaks down as follows:
~20 good
~10 average (read: bad)
~20 fish
My table gets a roughly average distribution of those players, including a hung over Kush in seat 1. Too much beer and video poker Kush, but at least you flop straight flushes (in video poker naturally.)

For the first few levels I try to see cheap flops or raise pre with good hands but I can’t get anything going. The only semi interesting hand of the entire 2 hours goes as follows:

The player on my left had min reraised somebody once pre flop and had AhKh, which hit an A on the turn after C-betting the flop and stacked the awful villain. He seemed pretty tight, so I’m pretty sure he’s min reraise range pre is very tight and he probably over values AK and doesn’t understand how to play it.
His stack: ~15k
My stack: ~7k, I hold JJ UTG+1, blinds 50/100.

Preflop: UTG calls 100, I raise to 400, UTG+2 reraises to 800, folds back to me, I call.

Flop: 8 3 3 two diamonds (I have none)
I check, he bets 1000, I call intending to fold if he continues with confidence.
Turn: 4
I check, he bets 2500, I fold.

After that things continued to go wrong when the blinds went up to 100/200 and every attempt I made at getting involved went straight to hell. Seated on my immediate right is well known internet MTT player kwob20, who’s a very nice guy and managed to get Rolande De Wolfe quite annoyed with him when the following hand developed:

Wolfe: 5.5k
Kwob: 6k
Blinds 100/200

Preflop: Folds to Wolfe on the button, Wolfe makes it 600, Kwob calls, BB folds.
Flop: Qh Th 4c
Kwob checks, Wolfe bets 1000, Kwob shoves, Wolfe calls. Kwob shows Kh 9h and Wolfe Ks Js.
Turn: 4h

Wolfe angrily gets up to the table and makes some remark about Kwob’s pre flop call, then storms out to the porch.

A few rounds after Kwob picks up some chips, I find a way to get them back from him. I peer down at 9d 2d in the SB at 100/200.
Hero: 4.8k
Kwob: 12k
HJ: 9k
BB: IDK?

Preflop: Folds to HJ, HJ calls, folds to Kwob on Button, Kwob calls, I complete, BB checks.
Flop: 7d 5h 3d
I check, BB checks, HJ checks, kwob bets 575. I decided that vs a standard live player I would be shoving here, but since kwob knows I’m online the way to look strong to him (and hopefully get him to fold a middle pair or something) is to CR half my stack instead. I make it 2000, BB folds, HJ folds, and Kwob moves in. I call and he shows 33, [censored].
Turn: Qc
River: 8d

Whoa, a draw actually got there. I double back to almost 10k. Unfortunately for me, things would never go above that. I mostly fold for about 2 or 3 rounds and the blinds go up to 100/200 25 ante. A few on my right is a very aggressive middle aged player, I think John Gale. He’s aggressive to the point of sloppiness though overall plays fairly well. He’s been opening a lot of pots when I see an opportunity to make a move 9 handed, after having played very tight for a while.
Gale (MP1): 15k
MP2: 13.5k
Hero: ~9k
Hero holds 4d 3d on the HJ.

Preflop: Folds to MP1, MP1 raises to 600, MP2 calls, hero raises to 2300, folds back to MP1, MP1 considers his options and calls, MP2 deliberates forever and also calls.
Flop: Ks Qs Ts
MP1 leads out 4k, MP2 shoves, I fold, MP1 calls. MP1 shows Ah Ad, MP2 Kc Qc.

The KQ held and my squeeze completely failed. I continue to fold for a while until the next interesting hand comes up:

MP1 is a young solid player who seems to know what he’s doing. Button is a middle aged player who is obviously recreational (read: awful, loose, spewy, bad) and remarked to the table “I’m just killing time here while my wife shops, she’ll do way more damage than this tournament.”
Hero holds Jc 9c in the BB at 100/200 with 25 ante.
Hero: 6.6k
MP1: 14k
Button: 10k
SB: ~12k

Preflop: Folds to MP1, MP1 makes it 625, folds to button, button calls, SB calls, hero calls.
Flop: 6c 7d 9s
SB checks. Hmm, I am almost positive if MP1 bets he has an over pair, he’s not leading AK into 3 players on this board. If he checks and the button bets, he’s bad enough that I have to shove on him, assuming SB doesn’t raise. I also check, MP1 checks, button bets 1500, SB folds, I shove, MP1 folds. Button sighs and states, in a 100% serious tone “Well, I guess I have to call” then flips up 77.
Turn: 8
River: 4

That’s it for me today, at least I’ll be available to pick up A_Junglen at the airport. After Wardekar and I pick him up we head out to Nath’s place where a group of 10 of us hangs out playing beer pong and enjoying the hilarious dancing antics of Randalflow. God knows how anyone could ever shoot straight in beer pong watching that kid in a groove. After the get together four of us head to the Korean BBQ for a late night food run and we end up getting back fairly late. I won’t be getting nearly as much sleep as I’d prefer, and tomorrows event is $1500 NL, which promises to be an absolute horror house.

When I jerk awake to my standard morning wake up call I’m really not feeling quite up to everything. However, I’ve promised I’d meet Mlagoo to get money I can give to Stevepa. I half awake stumble down to the poker room, where neither Mlagoo or Stevepa are anywhere in sight so after waiting around for 10 minutes I decide to just go back to the room and back to sleep. While walking out I run into Stevepa/Pacman/Sirwatts who are waiting in line and talk me into playing, including Pacman loaning me $1500 since I’ve forgotten mine in the room. Fine, whatever, [censored] it, I’ll play this stupid 60 BB start stack event.

My first table is out in the tent, which will rotate throughout the day from being way to hot to momentarily temperate then way to cold. Glad I brought a jacket (obv.)

By the first break I was up 5k after making a flush and getting paid off. In the second two hours I went very hot by picking up AK about 5 times and either winning a flip or hitting it, as well as flopping a set of jacks and stacking someone. Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything CLOSE to an interesting hand that involves a thought process or a real decision to make. Things were just very standard and by the 2nd break I am up ~14k. By the time we go to dinner I am up to around 19k, and the only semi interesting hand was a pre flop decision with AQ which I’ll be posting in HSMTT.

I go to dinner with A_junglen and Iweargoggles who was at various periods of the day, on and off my table. We never end up in a pot however. After the break we begin approaching the bubble and things become painstakingly slow. When we’re about 5 players out hand for hand begins, and I now have a short stack of 15k. After the dinner break I’ve gone COMPLETELY card dead and basically fold for hours. As we approach the bubble I realize in a field this soft I can play aggressive and nobody is going to fight back. For example: The CO raises to 3.5k, I jam 15k with J5o, blinds fold and he insta folds AT. 2 from the money I raise 9To and get jammed on by a middle aged guy who begs me to fold and flips up AA.

On the hand before the actually bubble (270 cash, 271 left) a guy who has announced to the table he will only be raising KK and AA, and already raised once saying “you know what I have! I’ll show!” then flipped up KK to prove his honesty raises it up with about 20k. It folds to me in the BB with 83o and I count up my stack.
”You already know what I have, I’ll show, I promise!” I look over at his stack. I’ve got 18k, him about 20k, so I guess I can’t put him to a decision for his entire stack. I decide to fold 83o face up and he shows me his KK. He then informs me “If you’d pushed, and actually covered me, I definitely fold. I didn’t come all the way from Alaska just to finish 271st.”

When we finally enter the money the room goes completely nuts with people shouting and applauding. I lean back in my chair to look over at Goggles who’s also leaning back. We look at each other and break into laughter, knowingly rolling our eyes.

By the end of the night I still fail to get into any interesting hands as most people are so short from stalling on the bubble everything is push/fold. At one point with 20k in the SB it folds to me at 8/1600 and I look down at AQ and shove into the BB who has about 11k. He tanks then announces “okay, I’ll gamble with ya!” and after playing tight for hours I expect him to perhaps show me a mid pair. Nope, the man flips up K2o and after flopping my A I have 30k.

Unfortunately, after this hand I wouldn’t win another pot for the rest of the short evening and finish the day with 22,200. Day 2 doesn’t begin until 2pm so I’ll finally be able to get some sleep. By the end of the night I am so exhausted I can barely see straight.

Coming back the next day was an equally pointless and boring story. I fold for 10 minutes, with 18 and 1k/2k 300 ante blinds jam J4o on the button and with a stack full of black 100’s that looks much bigger than it is announce jokingly to the BB who starts thinking over his decision “You dare to consider calling a stack of this magnitude!?” He looks longingly at his cards and folds.

A few hands later with about 22k I look down at 33 in MP1 at a 9 or 8 handed table and jam when folded to. It folds to the button who calls this time and the blinds call. The button flips up AQ and flops a Q to end my day. Okay, fair enough, all feels pretty standard and boring to me. At least I never have to say I’ve never cashed a WSOP pre lim event (which, going into this event, was in ~25 attempts.) I’m not even sure how much money I get, I didn’t bother to collect it, but it’s roughly 4k.

That’s the problem with the $1500 events. They’re as close to a simplistic and pointless grind as a MTT player is likely to encounter. They’re also enormous fields of awful players who would be very fun to play against if we were deep enough to really be able to manipulate them. Tomorrow is another $1500 event which I walk down at 1:30am to register for tonight. I run into Badgerpro on my way and tell him to come hang in line for a moment while I wait to register.
“No way man, I just waited through a 50 minute line that’s stretching out the door and there’s only 3 tellers, your on your own, sorry. Tell me what your table number is tonight though, and GL.”

I walk down the hall and see Badger is in fact correct, the line is well out the door and perhaps got even worse. I smirk to myself about what a fish Badger is to have waited through all that.

5 minutes later I am walking back to my room fully registered without the slightest delay. Hey Badger, next time you run into me, come along for the ride and I’ll show you how it’s done. For now its time I get some sleep, see EVERYONE tomorrow.

Today at the WSOP is the $5000 heads up tournament which I have really have no interest in playing, so I decided to go over to the Bellagio and play their $2500 event. Every time I walk around the Bellagio I am amazed, the building is more city than casino, but a city draped in the finest of aesthetics in every aspect. The scope of the building and the land it sits on alone is absolutely enormous and awe inspiring, and the inside is about as gorgeous and well adorned as any building your likely to set foot in this life time.

I got to the Bellagio at about 12:45 for what I thought was a 1pm event, but it turns out they have changed the start times to 2pm from now, I believe to encourage players who bust from the WSOP event that day to come over and try again. When the event finally gets underway we are seated in the Fontana room which is at about 1/3 capacity. All in total the event would get about 105 entrants, with first paying a bit over $100,000. We start with a $5000 bank and 25/50 blinds, with 1 hour levels.

My original table seems to be pretty soft outside a few solid spots, such as online pro rcrane sitting on my immediately right. I have a older gentleman named George Mamarcas on my immediate left who final tabled the main event at the Ozzie Millions in 2005, and the [censored] NEVER SHUTS THE [censored] UP. For the first hour most of the pots I play are small or incredibly obvious so very little of interest happens. I try to see flops cheaply when I can and don’t get much in the way of starting hands, but thanks to hitting a set and stacking a guy with TPTK at the break I am at about 7400. At the first break I stand outside taking in the view and sun on the porch of the Fontana lounge and young player approaches me who says he’s seen me around the Rio and thinks my suits are a cool look. He obviously has excellent taste, so I chat to him for a moment before we realize we already know each other. He is 2p2’er Mastr and we hit it off discussing the hilariousness that is Chad Brown attempting to fight Aaron Been because his girlfriend has no idea how to behave at a poker table. According to his story, Chad Brown followed them to the Bellagio looking to confront Aaron after the confrontation at the Rio, but was unsuccessful in his attempt to kick some internet kid punk ass when he wasn’t able to find Aaron.

After the first break we are playing 100/200 with no ante. I try to equate most of the live tournaments I play structures to something I am used to online, and this one plays similar to a stars 109 freeze out. I try to adjust my strategy to something similar as I would play in that online forum, accept more aggressive pre and post with c bets since people fold to much. The first even semi worth mentioning hand went as follows:

With blinds/antes at 100/200 with 25 ante a fairly average player limped in UTG with about 6k. I look down at TT with 7k in MP and when folded to make it 850. It folds to the BB who is a very VERY weak guy of about 50 years old who with a 4k stack elects to reraise to 2k total. UTG folds and its back to me, and I fold without much thought.

A round or two later MP2, a fairly bad middle aged player who’s opening standards I’m not terribly sure of opens to 600. The bad/weak player on his left calls. It folds to me in the BB with AQo and I look over at the OR who has only about 2k. I decide to move all in and the OR calls, with the limper folding. The OR shows A5cc and my hand holds up, putting me around 8k.

A couple rounds after that I have been playing tight but picked up some small pots and am up to around 9 or 10k. It folds to me on the CO, and the player on the button is somewhat new to the table who has only seen me play one hand, AQ. I raise 94cc to 650 on a pure steal and the button, with about 10k, flat calls me. The blinds fold.
Flop: Qd 6d Qc
I’m pretty sure if I c bet here will basically never be given any credit. I decide to do a little FPS here and OOP float him and donk the turn, since I think a live player might give me credit for a Q playing that way. I check, he bets 800, and I call.
Turn: 6c
I quickly bet 1300 and the button mumbles something about “nice hand Mr. Q” and releases without thinking very much. I’m not really sure if I like how I played this hand, and its something I would basically never do online, but live I think he might be apt to give me more credit. IDK, I think I may post that one.

The very next hand I pick up JJ and when its folded to me make it 650 on the HJ. The CO folds and the button flat calls, as does the SB. The BB, who was the fairly weakfish player from the TT hand, now moves all in for ~4k. Even though he’s weak there’s absolutely no way I’m folding here so I move all in as well. The two cold callers fold and the BB flips up 77. My JJ holds up and I’m now at roughly ~15k. A few hands later we go on break where I again take in the excellent view from the Fontana lounge porch.

Coming back from the break I lose about 3k playing some small pots where very little interesting happened. About half an hour into the 200/400 with 25 ante level the following hand comes up:

We are 8 handed and the player in MP2 who is very bad/loose but has almost 40k from being a station and bluffing at somehow, all the right times, limps in for 400. It folds to me on the CO with a 12k stack with Ad Qd and I make it 1600. The button/blinds fold and the bad player calls.

Flop: 4d 6d 7h
MP2 leads out 1600 and I briefly think things over before moving all in. I’ve got a pretty tight image at this point, especially when it comes to committing all my chips, so I’m expecting a lot of folds. Also, I’ve seen him donk out on a lot of players and fold to their raises. Instead of what I was expecting, he takes only about 3 seconds before calling and flips up Ah 7c. Awesome, he is obviously destroying my range there.
Turn: Js
River: 3c

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, one time dude, OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE time! I politely wish the remaining players good luck and wander over to Mastr’s table to tell him what happened. It is apparently a little known secret at the Bellagio that if you ask the floor men nicely while in the tournament they will give you a $15 voucher for the buffet, and from what the dealer told me, sometimes 2 if you say you have a friend with you. I imagine tipping the floor man you ask would be of good help in this instance.

I wander over to the Bellagio buffet (which is absolutely delicious btw, and I normally don’t care for buffet’s) and as I’m about to be seated Mastr shouts out “Bond!” behind me and quips “Dude! I am busto!” Oh well, while 2p2 may have blanked the Bellagio tournament, we certainly dominated that buffet.

Later that night I would call up Stevepa again and ask him how he was doing in preparation for more money begging. I believe at this point I am the only member of team Stevix that is without cash in Vegas this summer so despite Steve’s/Timex’s relaxed attitude with me, I at the least, perceive the pressure to be on. Tomorrow is a 5k event at the Bellagio which I will again be playing and at worst resulting in a trip to the Bellagio buffet. Also, I have convinced (read: nagged) A_Junglen into coming out to visit which I am quite excited for as I intend to mooch the knowledge sitting in his brain to attempt to get me out of this rut. Perhaps a visit from coach Asian sensation can get my head in the right place and variance on my side.

Here's hoping, Bond18.