I down a melatonin before bed in hopes of staying asleep. I wake up at 9am anyway, but feel tired enough that after spending 15 minutes or so on the computer I manage to crawl back to bed and doze off until my alarm starts ringing at 11. I go for my run, take a shower, and grab breakfast before heading out to the casino. Having checked the update from the previous day I am indeed the chip leader from both heats, edging out the guy behind me by about 1,000. Bondgirls 150ish thousand is good for 6th. Still, with a little over 200 players left having the chip lead doesn’t promise anything, especially with my history in these kinds of situations. I just need to keep myself from doing anything stupid and keep my desire to run over the table in check and in balance.
The blinds start at 1000/2000 and my 216,500 means I’m sitting over 100 BB’s deep, though the average stack is more like 70,000 so most hands are played with 35 BB’s effective. For the entirety of the 1000/2000 level things remain fairly quiet. I mostly only play in spots where I’ve got a clear raise or steal the blinds of the total nits behind me. The table is fairly active yet inexperienced, and there’s nobody I’ve played with much around. My first hand of interest comes up at 1200/2400, against the other biggest stack on the table:
My stack: ~225k. BB: ~105k I hold AdAh UTG+1.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 7000, folds to BB, BB calls.
Flop: J 9 9 rainbow
The BB leads out 18,000. I know 100% for certain he’s not leading a 9 here and I don’t think he’s leading a draw like QT this big most of the time. From the way I’ve seen him play he’s got a pretty serious over-bet problem, so I decide to call and hope to raise what should be a committing bet from him on the turn.
Turn: 7
The BB moves allin and I instantly call. He tables AJ and the river K drags me an enormous pot. Some others on the table are surprised with the ease in which I called him. I’m surprised it’s ever in question.

I take down some small pots for the rest of the level but mostly remain inactive. The next hand of interest doesn’t come up until 1500/3000:
My stack: ~340k. MP1: ~110k HJ:~35k. I hold TT UTG+2
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 8500, folds to MP1, a passivish and loose middle aged guy named Tony, who calls. Folds to HJ who is a young player who seems to shove pretty wide. He moves in for 35,000. It folds back to me and I reshove pretty quickly. Now Tony goes into the tank and starts talking to himself.
“I’ve got a big hand here.”
I’m pretty sure for him to be thinking this long he has to have JJ or AK. He’d have folded 99 pretty quick and likely would have got it in with QQ without this much difficulty.
“I’ve got a pretty big hand here.” He repeats. I decide I’m going to need to him fold.
”You think I don’t?” I say calmly then glance down at my slid out 100,000 knowingly. Tony keeps thinking for a while, then looks up at me
”Alright, I’m going to lay this down to you” and mucks his hand.
The young guy flips up AKo and I table my TT.
”SHIT!!” yells Tony. “DAMN IT! JACKS!”
Flop: 3 T K rainbow
Tony’s eyes become the size of dinner plates “Good thing you shoved mate!”
Turn: T
I burst into laughter. What an absurd card.
River: 9
The large pot is slid over to me and Tony keeps thanking his lucky stars I shoved on him. I’m almost certainly the commanding chip leader at this point.

I pick up a decent sized pot 3 betting a button raiser with 45dd in the BB who folds showing me KsQs. We’ve been chatting in a friendly manner and he tells me this is his very first live tournament. He seems pretty nervous and a good target to pick on. It’s not long before I’m involved in another big pot:
My stack: ~380k. HJ: ~50k. Button: ~70k. Blinds 1500/3000 with 400 ante. I hold 66 in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to HJ who is a fairly aggressive player but still seems like the type a little afraid to bust. He opens his standard raise to 12,000. It folds to a very loose passive button who calls. The SB folds and I grab a stack of 100,000 in yellow and slide it into the middle. The HJ stares me down for a very long while. Eventually he grabs his stack, and slides it into the middle. The button folds. The HJ tables KhQh.
Flop: Ac 7c 3c
That’ll work.
Turn: Ks
That won’t.
River: Qc
Like I’d ever lose a flip in this heater.
Boo yah. My stack soars well over 400,000 and the entire table has jaws on the floor at the sheer mass of my stack. God knows how many rows of 20 high chip stacks it is.

After that hand I don’t find myself in any large pots for a while. The two players on my immediate left are both short stacks and quite tight. I start open shoving on them a fair bit. At one point it folds to me on the button with A4o and I slide out my stack of 100,000. The SB calls all in for what turns out to be KJo with 36,000 and the board reads out KT9TT. Did I just lose a flip? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!

A round later I find myself involved in a big pot that actually makes it to the flop:
My stack: ~390k. MP2: ~82k. MP1: ~60k. I hold AQo on the HJ. MP2 is the aforementioned first timer and MP1 is a bit loose and semi active.
Preflop: Folds to MP1, MP1 opens his standard 11,000, MP2 calls, I reraise to 36,000 (leaving room to fold if Tony behind me with ~130k shoves), it folds back to MP1 who folds, MP2 thinks for a very long time, seems concerned, counts his chips, and elects to call. Guess I’m going to pull an in position go and go unless I hit the flop hard (I’d check back Qxx rainbow or Axx rainbow type flops.)
Flop: J 4 2 rainbow
MP2 checks. I take a stack of 100,000 and slide it into the middle. He quickly slides his stack into the middle as well and tables his AJo. Charming.
Turn: 7. River: A

As the level ends and we go on break I realize I started the last break with about 310k, went up to 450k, and now sit at roughly 310k.

We come back from break and soon our table is broken. I’m moved to a fairly straight forward table and for a very long time nothing of consequence happens. As we get close to the money I take down small and medium pot after small and medium pot. The bubble itself actually breaks incredibly fast and when it does I’m sitting over 460,000 without a hand coming anywhere close to being meaningful or interesting. The tournament pays 60 people, though 50-60 merely get their money back. As expected, 10 players drop off very fast. It’s not until the 5000/10000 level that I find myself in another interesting spot:

I hold AdKd UTG+1. After being quiet for a while I’ve raised two hands this round and taken down the blinds. The SB is a loose/bad player who calls too much and tends to open with huge raises. The BB is a very straight forward player named Vic who is quite tight but not a huge mega nit. My stack: ~470k. SB: ~230k. Vic: ~240k.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 25,000, folds to the SB, the SB calls, Vic looks over at me then announces all in, I quickly announce all in, the SB folds. Vic tables ThTc and we’re off to the races.
Flop: 9d 7d 5h
Oh baby is that my flop. You’re dead pal!
Turn: 2s
Don’t make me look like an idiot here deck. I’ve already mentally said ‘You’re dead pal!’ Let’s not turn me into a liar here.
River: 9c
SHIT! I count out the roughly 240,000 I owe Vic, tap the table, and tell him nice hand. He’s a complete gentleman, so if I’m going to lose to anyone, I’m glad it’s someone like him.

A few hands later I find myself in another big pot. The player in the hand is the SB from the previous hand. He’d been pretty active pre flop with open raising a quite bit. At 4000/8000 he’d been doing things like opening for 50,000 often and then min raising. He hadn’t had to turn his hands over yet so I’m not sure what his range is like but he’s raising pretty often. In one pot where a short stack shoved, he reshoved 66 in early position and Vic behind him tanked for a while and folded TT. After Vic told him this the SB went on this long rant about how he would have instantly folded TT in Vic’s spot and would only call all ins with REALLY big hands. His speech was clearly in earnest, and ever since I considered him an excellent resteal target. He’d also asked why after big hands I got up to write something down and I explained to him about writing tournament reports online. Other than that, we’d had almost zero interaction with each other.

My stack: ~230k. CO: ~205k. I hold JdTd in the BB. Blinds 5000/10000 with 1000 ante.
Preflop: Folds to the CO who raises to 30,000. The button and SB fold, and after a couple seconds thought I announce all in. The CO instantly calls and excitedly tables aces. I really do make the sickest reads.
Flop: Ad Js 7d
Wow, things could get worse than that flop.
Turn: 7h
The CO explodes “HELLO SIR!!!” he pauses briefly then slaps his hands in the air again yelling “HELLO SIR!! Put THAT in your book! YES!!” He motions to the rail “GUYS COME LOOK AT THIS!”
River: 3d
Perfect. “WHOOOO! Put THAT in your book!” He repeats. I start counting out the chips I owe him and running the odds in my head; is it worth taking my pen out and stabbing him in the throat for all the sodomy I’m sure to endure in prison? I instead elect to pass him his chips and quietly glare at him. Passive aggressive for the win.
“My names Nick by the way, in case you wanted to write it down!”
I simply stare coldly at him, in complete refusal to go for my pen. Someone on the other side of the table blurts out “Hey you know what Nick rhymes with right?” I’ve got 30,000 left, and I’m totally fucked.

The very next hand I post a 5000 SB and 1000 ante intending to call off with about anything. Unfortunately it’s raised by Vic on the button and I look down at 24 offsuit. I guess I fold here? I throw it in intending to wait for a hand with just a little bit of showdown equity. This plan goes HORRIBLY awry when my following 6 hands are: 52o,43o, 94o, 62o, 52o, 43o. Finally on the 7th hand, after anteing myself down to 18,000, I look down at K9o and it folds to me. I open shove and it folds to my friend Kochan on the button who isolates me to 45,000 with AsTs.
Flop: Ac 8c 3h.
Turn: X
“Thank God. Get me out of here. Best of luck everyone.”

I end up busting something like 43rd place and collect $921 dollars AUD for my effort. I take the chips to the cashier and throw the $1 chip in the donation for some charity box next to me. Can a dollar buy good karma?

For the fourth or fifth the straight day I wake up at 9am. This makes little sense, since I’m going to sleep around 2 or 3am and getting exercise during the day. Still, every morning I wake up at 9am, run to the restroom, and when I try to fall back asleep lie awake feeling both exhausted yet wired. Eventually I get up, browse the forums for a while, then go on a run to wake my blood up. After the run I normally feel much better but by the middle of the day I inevitably begin feeling tired, though I’ve often been to busy to pay it any serious attention. Either way, today there is little harm, though waking Bondgirl up proves to be a hassle and we get to the tournament twenty minutes late. Luckily I was smart enough to buy in days ahead of time so I simply rock up to my seat, count out the slightly depleted 20,000 start bank and say hello to those I know on the table, including well known Australian Pokerstars sponsored pro Eric Assadourian across the table. The blinds start at 50/100 with 45 minute levels, and there’s nothing more fun than deep stack poker with a slow structure than live tournament donks. It’s not long before pulling my own personal Hellmuth starts paying off:
I hold KcQc in MP2. Stacks effectively ~20k.
Preflop: EP limps, folds to me in MP2, I raise to 400, folds to SB, SB calls, BB folds, limper calls.
Flop: K 7 6 rainbow
Both players check to me. I fire out 800, the SB folds, and the limper calls.
Turn: 6
Nice card. Reduces both the chances of a set and two pair that beats me. EP quickly checks and I fire out 2000. He quickly calls.
River: J
Not really my favorite card. Still, it’s live poker and a value bet here is absolutely mandatory in a weak tournament. EP checks, I bet 3000, EP quickly calls and I table KQ for the winner.

Only a few hands later I get involved again. I hold 66 UTG when the following occurs.
Preflop: I raise to 300, folds to the button who calls, SB calls, BB folds.
Flop: J 6 3 rainbow
The SB here is the same player who paid off my earlier KQ hand and seems like a serious station. Still on a flop this uncoordinated I don’t think I can bet too large and hope to get action. Both players check to me and I fire out a weak 500. The button folds and the SB check min raises me to 1000. I call.
Turn: 8d, putting a flush draw out.
SB fires 1000 and after a little bit of thought I make it 4000, hoping he makes a stack sized mistake. He quickly calls.
River: Ad
Blegh, that card’s such an action killer unless he has something like AJ. The SB checks. I think about my bet size and fire 7500 (probably too much in live poker.) The SB briefly thinks then folds.

For the rest of the table I play a few small pots and win with C bets but little interesting happens. My table is absolutely spewtastic and I’m watching one player in particular, the gentleman occupying seat 1, play all over the place. I’ve also raised his blind a number of times, one of which with ATo that he 3 bets after swearing a bit and I fold. It’s not long until we’re involved again:
I hold AdAc in the SB. Blinds are now up to 100/200 with no ante.
Preflop: Folds to seat 1 in MP1 who limps, folds to HJ who limps, I raise to 1000, BB folds, MP1 swears a little then calls, HJ folds.
Flop: 8h 6h 2c
I’ll take it. I fire out 2000. MP1 announces call and slides 1000 into the pot. The dealer burns and turns.
Turn: 5c
The dealer looks over and sees MP1 has only put 1000 in and tells him he owes more. He protests and gives some entirely bullshit reason. I begin fantasizing about online poker while the two bicker for a few moments. Eventually MP1 concedes that he indeed announced ‘call’ and throws in another 1000. The turn isn’t my favorite card, but this guy is so stationy it’s still a clear bet. I fire 3000, he quickly calls.
River: 5d
Boo yah. I fucking love that card. I stare at it for a moment, go to my stack, then fire out 6500.
”How much is that?” asks MP1. The dealer begins counting it out.
“It’s 6500” I calmly reply.
“Ok, I call you.”
I turn over my AA and resist as hard as I can from yelling “I GOT THE NIZZLES SON!”
MP1 looks at it then quickly turns over his 4h5h. What. The. Fuck. Holy God, that’s the biggest nit roll of my entire life. The table begins cracking up about his river flat call and I begin recounting my chips. I’m constantly counting my chips in live poker. Only a few rounds later and I find a spot to get some back.
100/200 with 25 ante. My stack ~18k. The others somewhere around the low 20’s. I hold 33 on the CO
Preflop: UTG folds, UTG+1 raises to 700, folds to MP2, MP2 calls, folds to me, I call, the rest fold.
Flop: 7 3 2 rainbow
Wow I’m so good at poker. UTG+1 fires 1100, MP2 calls and I think about what I want to do. The problem here is I think UTG+1 is the type of player to fire over cards into two players, and if I raise MP2 he’s the type to believe me. I decide to flat.
Turn: 4 (full rainbow)
UTG+1 checks, now MP2 fires 3050. I think it over for a while, realize I can’t reraise any size without looking huge, and the board is too coordinated to call, so I stack up my chips and move in. UTG+1 folds, and MP2 folds after thinking for a moment.

Between the major hands Eric Assadourian and I seem to be involved in every single pot together. Every time he raises I find a hand to flat with. Every time I raise he’s in the BB and Eric hates folding his BB. We trade small jabs back and forth, and eventually Eric pulls a fairly large check raise bluff on me, which I lay down top pair top kicker on a very coordinated board to on the turn. Another player of interest on the table is two on my left, a young guy who is friends with the my horse Joel and seems competent but a bit too obvious in what he’s trying to accomplish. I soon find a spot to take advantage of this:
Blinds 100/200 with 25 ante. I hold 7h5h UTG+3 with about ~21k. The table is playing really loose passive.
Preflop: UTG raises to 600, folds to me, I call(this can only be profitable on very weak/loose tables), 1 fold, the young guy calls, four others call.
Flop: Th 3d 2h
It checks to me, I check, The kid fires 1100, it quickly folds back to me and I call. I think his bet size is a T feeling out where he is or a big hand, but given the certain uncertainty of his body language and face, I think it’s more likely an unsure T.
Turn: Js
I go for my chips and lead out 3200. The kid visibly shows his frustration, talks to himself about perhaps having the best hand but not wanting to call a river bet, then folds.

With the antes in play I open things up a little bit but have long passed the point of going crazy aggressively in live play. I now mostly isolate limpers with decent or connecting hands, or simply open very often on the HJ or later if everyone behind is very weak. Everyone behind me is weak. I’m often stealing the kids blind without incident when the following hand comes up:
Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold 5c6s on the button. My stack: ~23k. Kid also ~23k.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 800, SB folds, kid calls in the BB.
Flop: Ks 7d 2d
The kid checks and I fire 1200, he thinks it over then calls.
Turn: 4s
The kid thinks about it, then leads out 3200. Something feels off here, if he has a big king like AK he would reraise me preflop. If he has something like KQ or KJ I think he mostly check raises me on the flop. Still, I don’t even think he can call with KJ here. After only a few seconds I announce all in. The kids shoulders sink, he looks at me, exhales, then folds.

I play small ball for the rest of the 150/300 level and watch the player in seat one make one of the most insane bet/calls of a shove with A high I’ve ever seen (and ended up being ahead of a flush draw somehow.) A few hands later Eric Assadourian successfully bluffs him on the river and shows his hand with pride.
“So we just saw THAT hand and now you bluff him?!” I blurt
The table erupts in laughter, even seat 1 thinks this is extremely amusing.
“I just can’t help myself” quips Eric.
Seat 1, Eric and I seem to be going to a three way flop over and over. Any time Eric raises and I flat seat 1 comes along saying “I want to keep playing with my two best friends!” At one point I raise AJss and both Eric and Seat 1 call me. The flop comes K 7 5 rainbow and I decide to C bet after both check. Seat 1 check min raises me, Eric folds, and I fold. Seat 1 flips up his 98o with glee and rakes in the pot laughing.
“Man you’re a tough one to get a read on. You raise 9 high but only call with trips. I’m never gonna figure you out.” Seat 1 finds this all very amusing. It’s actually one of the most fun live tables I’ve ever been on with everyone joking back and forth.

The blinds go up to 200/400 and I soon find myself in another hand with the young kid on my left.
My stack: ~31k, his stack: ~15k. Blinds 200/400 with 50 ante. I hold JsJd in MP1.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 1100, 1 fold, kid calls, the rest fold.
Flop: Q 5 6 rainbow
I check and the kid bets 1300. I call
Turn: 2, now full rainbow.
I check and the kid thinks about, then fires 3100. I really feel like after my putting so much pressure on him, he’s waiting to bluff me. I call again considering seriously calling a river shove.
River: 4
I check and the kid checks back, then tables As9s. The jacks are way good.

Meanwhile seat 1 is continually playing back at Eric and I. Eric opens an absolute ton of pots, and what position he raises in is close to irrelevant concerning his hand range. It makes for an interesting table dynamic. My friend Alex has recently been moved to the table between Eric and I. With that image in mind the following hand comes up:
My stack: ~36k. Eric: ~26k. Alex: ~22k. Seat 1: ~50k I hold ATo on the HJ.
Preflop: Eric raises to 1000 UTG, folds to Alex in MP1 who calls, folds to me on the HJ and I call, folds to seat 1 in the SB who calls, BB calls.
Flop: 5 2 2 rainbow
The whole table checks around.
Turn: Td (putting flush draw out)
Seat 1 now leads out 2000, it folds to Alex who just calls, and therefore never has me beat. I decide to induce Seat 1 to try something spewy and bluffy by raising him small as he did to me. I make it 5500. He instantly calls and Alex folds.
River: 9h
Seat 1 instantly leads out 6500. I’m seriously considering min raising for value but the 9 isn’t my absolute favorite card and it occurs to me he actually could have a 2. I elect to just call (which still in my mind is debatable) and he taps the table, then announces “You’re way good before ever seeing my hand.” I show the AT and drag the pot while seat 1 mucks.

Not long after a spot comes up against Eric. Up to this point, I hadn’t made a single pre flop 3 bet our entire time on the table.
My stack: ~55k. Eric: ~20k. Blinds 200/400 with 50 ante. I hold Ad5d on the button.
Preflop: Folds to Eric in MP1, Eric raises to 1100, folds to me on the button, I 3 bet to 3100, folds to Eric, Eric calls.
Flop: 8h 5c 4d
Eric checks. I check back.
Turn: 2d
Bingo bang bongo Vince, that’s my fucking dream card. Eric checks and I think it over before betting 4200. “all in” he announces and INSTA call. Eric does not look pleased, and when I roll over my hand reels in disgust
“You’ve got me in terrible shape mate” he says, the rolls over his 9d7d.
River: 6d
Eric exits the table, which is a little disappointing since he’s the most fun to talk to.

With Eric gone there’s nobody to stop me from playing seat 1 heads up, and I do my best to get involved with him as often as possible. The player on my immediate right is a guy named Lou I used to play a lot of limit with. He’s a pretty tight and straight forward player, but also not clueless or anything. The following comes up against him:

My stack: ~75k. Lou: 35k. Blinds 300/600 with 75. I hold AsQc in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to Lou in the SB who makes it 3000. His normal raise has been a 4X, and while the 5X throws me off a little bit I’m still not folding. For what it’s worth, 3 betting a player like Lou here intending to get it in would be a massive mistake (and against most live players.)
Flop: 4c 6c 4s
Lou thinks it over then fires 5000. I call.
Turn: 8d
Lou checks. I check back.
River: 2s
Lou checks again, I check. Lou tables QJo and my AQ rakes it.

A new player is moved to the table with medium sized stack who looks to be about 30 and has a penchant for open limping. I have a moderately aggressive image when the following hand comes up:
My stack: ~92k. MP2’s stack: ~40k Blinds 400/800 with 100 ante. I hold 85o on the button.
Preflop: Folds to MP2, MP2 limps, folds to me on the button, I raise to 2500, the blinds fold, and MP2 elects to call.
Flop: Q J 6 rainbow.
MP2 checks. I really don’t like betting this texture against a players limp/call range since it hits so many hands that do, though perhaps in live poker I should be C betting half pot anyway. This time I elect to check back.
Turn: 4
I pick up a gut shot. MP2 thinks it over, then fires 1200. What the hell is this? I’m pretty sure MP2 isn’t sure of his hand, but in my experience live players have this weird thing where if you didn’t bet the flop after raising pre and raise the turn they never believe you. I decide to call intending to value bet a 7, and bluff a T, K or A unless he leads into me very strong.
River: T
MP2 looks concerned and checks. I think briefly before firing 5000. MP2 looks disgusted, sighs, but then tosses out the 5000 to call and asks “You got AK?”
“Nice call, I missed my draw.”
MP2 tables his Jd9d with pride and rakes the pot. Shit, first misstep of the day.

A round later the blinds are still 400/800. On my right is a guy named Nick I’ve played in numerous tournaments and knows me to be a successful player. We’ve been chatting and joking, and for the most part I haven’t been involved with him at all. He’s moderately aggressive, and certainly more aggressive than your average live player. The following comes up:
My stack: ~85k. Nick: ~50k. Seat 1:12,400. I hold QsTs on the CO. Nick is MP2.
Preflop: Folds to Nick, Nick raises to 3000 (with it being normal for him to go over 3X), it folds to me and I make it 8500 (my second 3 bet of the day), it folds to Seat 1 in the BB who is down to 12k after spewing off something like 50 or 60k with top pair into a set. Seat 1 quickly shoves and Nick folds. For only a few thousand more I of course call and find myself in terrible shape against Seat 1’s AQo. The flop comes Axx and with a rag on the turn the deal is sealed. My dirty 3 betting light secret is out.

Less than a round later the following hand comes up against Nick with that previous hand as the history.
My stack: ~73k. Nick: ~52k. I hold AQ offsuit in the SB. Blinds 400/800 100.
Preflop: Folds to Nick on the CO who opens to 2200. The button folds and I think it over. I decide to 3 bet and I’m pretty sure Nick will make some kind of play at me given the history. I 3 bet to 7000. The BB folds and Nick briefly thinks before making it 15,000. Just as I thought, normally the tiny raise would concern me but this time I’m expecting it. I grab my entire stack of grey 1000’s and yellow 5000’s and slide them into the middle. Nick instantly calls and tables AA. I make such sick reads. The board blanks out and I find myself sitting with something around 21,000 again. Fuck it, let’s do it all over again.

The very next hand Lou opens to 4000 on the CO (his standard raise) and I jam AJo on the button. Lou folds and I pick up another 6000ish. The very next hand goes down as follows:
My stack: ~27k. Seat 1 is the BB with about ~30k. The two players behind me are total nits. I hold 65o on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to me on the CO, I raise to 2100, the button folds, the SB calls, and Seat 1 calls in the big of course.
Flop: 6s 5h 2s
Perfect. This is just the kind of flop where Seat 1 will do something psycho and double me. All I need is for the SB not to get involved. The SB checks, BB checks, and I bet out 4400. The SB stares at me for a while then folds, and Seat 1 instantly goes all in. I INSTA call and table 76o like the stone cold nuts it is. Somehow, Seat 1 actually turns over a real hand, 5s4s. I am so fucked.
Turn: Kh
River: 8c
Wow. Wowowowowowowowow. I mean seriously, how do I dodge all that? (Running it through Pokerstove tells me I’m the one who actually sucked out, but the way he was playing I’m 100% sure that’s the easiest call in the world.)

Suddenly I find myself with 60,000 again and I’m joking with the whole table about what a calling station spew psycho I am. I whip out my pen and flick it around the air rambling along the lines of “my stack has more zig zags than the stock market. Watch this shit go.”

The blinds go up to 500/1000 and with my image completely ruined I stay cool for a while. The following comes up against Nick and the guy who caught me bluffing earlier:
My stack: ~60k. Nick: ~100k. Limper: ~50k. I hold 98o in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to the HJ who limps, CO folds, Nick limps the button, SB folds, I check.
Flop: Q T 6 rainbow
Sweet, double belly buster. They’ll never see this coming. Still, I feel like I’m way too deep to bet/3 bet all in against either of these guys given what they’re raising range will be, so I check. HJ fires 1000, Nick calls, and I call.
Turn: Ac
I glance back at my hand. Hmm, it would appear I don’t have 98o. I have 87o. Christ, I need to get some sleep. Well, I guess I called the flop with a gutshot, time to check fold. I check, but both check behind.
River: 9d
L. O. L. And with my image nobody’s going to believe this. I instantly fire out 5500. The limper eyes me suspicious and folds. Nick does the same and elects to call.
“I apparently have the second nuts, little did I know.”
I explain that I misread my hand and Nick laughs at me.

Not long after another guy I used to play limit with all the time, Johnny D, gets moved across the table. A moment later we’re in a pot together:
My stack: ~70k Johnny D: ~42k Blinds 500/1000. I hold 44 on the button.
Preflop: Johnny D limps UTG, folds to me on the button, I limp, the SB folds, the BB checks.
Flop: 8 4 2 rainbow
Yea I’m so good at poker. Soooooo good. The BB checks and Johnny bets 3000. I call and the BB folds.
Turn: J, putting a diamond draw out.
Johnny checks and I think it over, then bet 6600. Johnny announces all in and instantly call. Johnny flips up KK and finds himself in terrible shape.
River: Ad
I stack up a massive pot and find myself well above what I had even before I spewed my AQ straight into AA. Swongs, they are one thing.

I lose a smallish pot when I get check min raised with an open ended draw and fold when the turn pairs the board and the player leads the turn. Not long after that I’m moved tables and find myself sitting down about 95,000. My new table looks a bit younger and more aggressive than my previous one, though the guy who caught me bluffing and considers me spewy has also been moved two on my right. After opening one pot and not getting fought with I soon find myself in a big one:
My stack: ~95k. Button: ~75k. SB: ~50k. I hold AKo in MP1. Blinds 600/1200 with 200 ante.
Preflop: Folds to me. I raise to 3500, folds to button calls, the SB looks down at me, then makes it 12,000. The BB folds and it’s back to me. I ask him to move his arm so I can see his stack. It looks like about 50k. He’s pretty young looking (low 20’s perhaps) and I decide he’s young enough that this can’t be a spew. I shove. The button folds and the SB briefly thinks before calling with QQ. I flip over my AK and scan the table to see how many eyes roll at me. It’s a few. I love live poker.
Flop: A T 6
Sweet.
Turn: 9
River: 7
I get slid a massive pot. Dennis Huntley is sitting two on my left (of TV table with Gobboboy fame) and he has the most hilarious bogan-Australian accent ever.
“Nooice wecome teh tha table maaaate!” he tells me.
“Nice welcome indeed. Dennis right? We played in the 1k rebuys yea?”
It’s not long before Dennis is asking me if I want a free $200 on Poker Time.

One round later I find myself in yet another big pot.
My stack: ~150k. HJ: ~60k. Button: ~80k. SB: ~60k. I hold AsAc UTG. Blinds 600/1200 with 200 ante.
Preflop: I raise to 3500, folds to HJ, HJ calls, CO folds, Button calls, SB calls. God will you fucking nits just 3 bet me one time.
Flop: 3c 9s Ts
Gross. I stare at the board completely lost how to play this spot after the SB checks. I just can’t see how betting can be good here. I check. The HJ bets out 12,000. The button and the SB both fold. I call.
Turn: Qc
That certainly isn’t my favorite card. I check again. The HJ thinks, then bets 15,000. Being so new to the table I have no idea how he plays, but with my hand so underepped I just can’t see folding yet. I call.
River: 2s
I stare at it for a while, stare at him, then check. He checks back and says “you must win.” I show my AA. “Nice hand, just a pair of 3’s.”

It’s only one more round until I find myself in another big situation:
My stack: ~180k. SB: ~52k. Dennis: ~30k. CO: ~90k. I hold JdJh in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to Dennis in EP who limps for 1200, folds to CO who limps, the button folds and the SB makes it 9,500. The SB is the player who caught me bluffing earlier and seems to think I 3 bet only as a spew. I make it 30,200. Dennis thinks it over a little bit and folds, as does the CO. The SB moves in for his last 20k and I of course call. He flips up AK and I’m off to the races again.
Flop: 8 7 T
Sexy.
Turn: 6
River: 2
Again I win a massive coin flip. The board’s come 3 clubs and Dennis begins rambling about his fold with Ac6c and how he really thought about putting it in. My stack climbs to a massive ~240k.

That hand proves to me the last large action of the night. With players getting tired and things winding down I try to play aggressive in late position to attack the scared players with mixed success. One player on my right is playing very aggressive and I flat his LP raise in the BB with KTo, then check raise his 7000 bet to 18000 on a Q52 flop. He calls and when the turn brings a Q his eyes light up like the 4th of July. I check fold. At the end of the day we bag up our chips and my final count comes to 216,500, good for the chip lead of the heat.

I find my friends and we head out to Chinese for dinner. I sit in a comatose state in the table slowly eating my food and looking around with the world in slow motion. In a state of lack of sleep the world feels roughly 75% real. Shadows seems to move awkwardly, and you hear people a little bit different, though you can’t say quite how. I’m forced to drink water with dinner since I’m on a diet and watch on in envy as everyone downs their beers. We go out to a club afterwards where I sip water while my friends get drunk around me. All responsibility and no booze makes Bond a dull boy. I doze off at 3am. I wake up at 9am. God damn it.

I was glancing over my intended schedule of upcoming live poker recently. For a while the rumor was the APPT was going to be starting up again in Macau in late March, though currently the consensus seems it’s more likely to happen in late April. After finding this out I realized it may line up very nicely for some of the other live poker I want to do, and end up creating a somewhat direct line of high stakes poker from Melbourne to Las Vegas. Here’s the post I made:
“So I was looking at the live poker tournaments I was intending on playing coming up, and while certain things are not 100% at this point (such as the dates for APPT Macau, which is likely late April but nobody knows yet) I found there was a real good opportunity to do an around the world trip including 4 continents for me and would likely be 3 for anyone else. I intend to write about every day in the trip to make the largest/most absurd trip report ever.

Here's the prospective schedule:
Around the world in ~90 days.

Late April- Melbourne to Macau

Macau to Hong Kong to Venice for Party Poker Million VI May 1

Venice-->Bari, Italy-->Olympia/Katakolon, Greece-->Izmir, Turkey-->Istanbul, Turkey-->
Dubrovnik, Croatia-->Venice, Italy.

Venice to Paris for Grand Prix de Paris on May 8th through the 18th

Paris to Chicago on the 18th, Chicago to Milwaukee, Milwaukee to Madison.

May 29th Milwaukee to Las Vegas for World Series of Poker.

WSOP May 30th through July 16th.

July 16th, Las Vegas to Melbourne Australia.


Obviously if you wanna go home somewhere else during that ~10 day off period in late May free, but basically I'm curious, anybody wanna come with?”

Seeing as I don’t have anything really mandatory to do in that time period, and leading up to it I’m doing nothing but playing 9 hours of online poker a day every day (to cover expenses and build my roll in general) it seems appropriate, especially since the travel line works out so conveniently. Also, if anyone is interested in filming that sort of thing and making some sort of documentary or what have you (no I don’t have the money to pay for it) let me know. In tournament entry feels alone I think this trip is looking at something like $125,000 US when you consider the WSOP. As Timex said in the thread “this is gonna hurt.” I would imagine the trip will likely result in my ending up:
A. Busto
B. Dead
C. Both (most probable.)

Meanwhile, earlier today I managed to make a very serious run in the FTOPS $1000 6 max event. Would today finally be the day I break through and hit the big score? Nope. I got pretty close though. For the third time I managed to go very deep in a $1000 major online tournament and come up ever so slightly short. With about 35 left I was something like fifth in chips. I ended up busting 33rd. I raised KK on the CO and the button flatted with aces. We got it all in for quite a lot of chips on a J high drawy flop. After that it folded to the SB who open shoved on my ~12 BB stack and I made the call with 44 in the BB. His KQs won the flip and that’s a gg sir. 33rd was worth $5,700, all of which goes straight to Timex.

Outside that I’ll be taking tomorrow off from the online game and going down to Crown for the Joe Hachem deep stacked 6 max $2500 semi shootout event. I’ll be writing a trip report, and hopefully it’s a long full of many, many hands. One time live poker?

Sunday is the biggest day of online tournaments of the week, and it’s not even close. This week I got up at 8am (I normally didn’t bother and just got up at my normal noon or maybe, if I was feeling motivated, 10am for the Tilt major) to put in a truly massive day that resulted lasting 12 hours long. Technically, what’s Sunday in the states is Monday here, though when it comes to the online world I still refer to my time schedule like I live in the States. The vast majority of Sundays are a miserable experience. You wake up too early, spend an insane amount of hours, and almost always end up with a loss at the end of the night, feeling totally exhausted and swearing Sundays up and down like a drunken sailor raving about the woman who gave him syphilis. Every once in a while though, you have that magical kind of Sunday, where things fall ever so right, and despite the lack of sleep and playing 8-15 tables at a time for half a day, you play well too. This is what one of those Sundays can look like:

Bodog $109 100k: 33rd for $400
UB $215 200k: 21st for $1,100
Stars $100 rebuys: 17th for $2,230 (in for the minimum $300)
UB $500 75k: 3rd for $9,027
Stars $2o rebuys: 3rd for $4,092
Full Tilt $30 rebuys: 5th for $1,875
Plus four other random cashes worth in the ball park of ~$200 each: $800

The end result is around 16-$17,000 in just profits, with ten total cashes. Despite running very well today (and I mean very, VERY well) had my luck just held a little bit longer in a few spots (deep in the UB or Bodog major, or won either of the two big flips three handed at the 22r final table, or dodged the river in a huge pot vs Randallin 3 handed in the 500, wah wah blah blah) the day could have been even sicker. Still, had you told me before I went to bed last night that at the end of my grueling day I’d be well over $16,000 in the black I would've been pretty fucking ecstatic.

That means overall on the week I’ve profited something like $25,000, and considering the week didn’t contain a single five figure score, that’s pretty sick for me. I think I only had two full on tournament wins, unless I’m forgetting something, and neither was for more than $5,000. I’m in the process of uploading my deep run in the 109 6 max on Tilt and UB 30r win up to Pokersavvy as I type, and it should be ready and uploaded by tomorrow, though I can’t promise it’ll be on the site since they might want to review it for the quality of content. When I think about it, I really enjoy making those videos, so if they like the content I’m going to ask them to be a full time pro on their site instead of just a guest pro. Having to vocalize my thoughts and do my best to not do anything retarded that everyone is going to see is awesome motivation not to fall into spewy habits. Tomorrow will be the last day of major online play for a few days since the Joe Hachem deep stacked tournament comes up, and hopefully I can continue my hot streak of luck onto the live felt. Here’s hoping.

Over the last couple of days I’ve made my first two videos for the training site www.pokersavvy.com. The first one I made yesterday followed my run in the Tilt $150 and 30 rebuys as well as whatever random tables I brought over. The $150 is a pretty wild video since I’m in the 5-12 BB range almost the entire video and every chance I get to get a hold of some serious chips I get 3 outed down to 1.5 BB’s (seriously it happened twice and I just kept sucking out to come back) and arrive at the final table with all of 4 BB’s, swearing about how stupid it all is. Today’s video goes on a much more smooth ride as I turned it on with about 8 left in the UB 30 rebuys and ended up winning the tournament for just under $5,000.

Meanwhile Kyle (Edmond Dantes) has made coming out to the LAPC as alluring as possible in order to promote the new ‘Live at the Bike’ internet video feed we’ll be doing. To be honest though I’m pretty exhausted of travel and I told myself after getting home from Gold Coast that I’d really settle in and start doing some very serious tournament grinding, which having done so has been a major success. I think I’m up something like ~$8,000 this week, though considering how many tournaments I play anything from 6-10,000 wouldn’t surprise me. Besides, I have the Joe Hachem $2500 deep stacked semi shoot out event on Wednesday and Valentines Day on Thursday. Besides, I have flabby pounds to shed and sitting around on my ass in a plane and at the poker table all day isn’t going to help.

Meanwhile I finally got to see ‘There Will Be Blood’ last night, the last of the ‘best picture’ nominees I had yet to see. The film is both miniature and enormous, and highly metaphorical, but is so violent and gritty that it never comes off pretentious. Day-Lewis deserves all the awards he’s got coming this year, though the film is certainly not for those who only see films for the relaxing, escapist amusement they so often are. ‘Blood’ is a very serious film almost entirely devoid of amiable characters, a film where the characters spend so much time spewing hate and violence at each other that you could never think of naming anyone in the film ‘the good guy’.

Meanwhile, Dhubermex, who does the Podcast interviews for www.pocketfives.com has asked me consider writing two articles a month for them. As much as I enormously enjoy creative writing (especially if it results in my attention whoring side being lauded) the one thing I get concerned with is being repetitive or unoriginal. Even though I was quite happy with how ‘The JJ Diaries’ turned out, I get the feeling that all my comedic writing thus far (outside the ‘upcoming live poker article’) has been very similar. Outside writing an ‘upcoming live poker part 2’ as soon as the APPT schedule comes out, I’m not sure I’d write anything comedic again unless something really jumped out at me or I had some idea of how to do something in an entirely different style.

As far as strategy writing goes though, the ‘things it took me a while to learn’ series will certainly continue for quite some time, as there are so many facets of tournament poker strategy we can delve into, as well as the potential to do a number of articles that are nothing but example hands to clarify certain points. I’m in the process of writing part 15 on table image and I imagine that will get finished either tonight or two days from now (seeing as tomorrow is Sunday in the states I can’t see having enough energy or being in the mood to write afterwards.) Even strategy though is a little tougher to write than before. When I started the series I had some very concrete ideas about what I wanted to write about, the most obvious flaws in play I constantly see. At this point we’re running out of major topics to talk about and are soon approaching writing about certain small leaks that need to be plugged.

It seems to me that the vast majority of poker strategy writers are either lazy, hacks, or both. I see so many articles in the largest publications, that even if appealing to beginners, are amazingly shit or repetitive. As much as I have always thought Mike Caro’s book of tells was an excellent piece of work every article he’s written on tells for the past 10 years has been the exact same fucking thing. I read an article in ‘Bluff’ magainze a while ago by ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro, another ‘tells’ guy. In his article he advised players not only go to the poker room to play poker but to simply stand around for a couple hours watching the game and observing peoples tells. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? Whatever tiny EV you gain by knowing peoples tells ahead of time is massively negated considering the opportunity cost by not playing at the same time you are watching people. Besides, tells are clearly the most exaggerated piece of poker strategy in the history of the game. Technical and mathematical knowledge is oh, I don’t know, about 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times more important than knowing if some guys pupils dilating slightly shifts his ranges weight towards the stronger end. Looking at that number again, I’m probably missing several lines of zeros.

Sometimes I think the majority of poker literature out there is published by a big group of guys who got together and decided “Well, we better not let the fish get their hands on any good information. Let’s publish the same shit over and over and over until we’ve reinforced all those terrible habits to the absolute maximum and we’ll all be rich forever! HAHAHAHAHA!” I imagine they all then ate several live puppies.

My imagination brings up another important question, am I ‘tapping the glass’ too much? By making quality information (though yes, I’m sure some of it is flawed in some regards) available for free and putting it in the area where the absolute maximum amount of unskilled but wanting to learn players will look, am I only hurting my own and other good players bottom lines? Maybe, maybe ever so slightly. Assuming anything more would be highly arrogant about my own writing prowess, the quality of my strategy, and the audience I reach. It’s not like staying ahead of the curve is all that hard. Besides, for every one guy who wants to learn and incorporates said information into his play, there’s 100 more that will either never find it or even if they do completely fail to understand or execute it. The final table I made today was a perfect example of that, I mean holy God every single player on that table was just totally incompetent about so many aspects. As far as I can tell, over the last six months tournaments have gotten softer, not tougher. Sure there was a stage post UIGEA where it did seem like they were getting a bit tougher, but the paranoia about that has died down and there’s way more tournaments with big fields today than I could have ever imagined a year ago. Just look at the 100 rebuys on Sunday, that thing used to get like 200-250 players. A few months later and the thing is getting 500 fucking guys! That’s just insane to me.

Anyway, my would be 1 page blog entry has turned into a four and a half page rant. Tomorrow is Sunday which means I need to get to bed early, and I’ve got some very serious Halo 3 to play before bed time.